Monsters: High school friends revisited

I had a fairly idyllic high school experience. Having gone to a nerdy magnet school, I was able to have a modicum of popularity, and I seized it: I played the Fairy Godcalculator in the high school skit (I can make all your trignometry wishes come true!) and hosted cool balloon animal-themed parties. Every year, I return to the Washington D.C. area excited to revisit my roots and perhaps have an unedited LOTR marathon. And for the most part, it’s been great.

But college has not worked in everybody’s favor. Sometimes, you return for break and find that a university has taken your high school besties and created… monsters. And not in the way of the most anticipated blockbuster of summer 2013.

It’s only upon returning to Brown that one can come to appreciate how these monsters function. Through observations, hearsay, and a couple of incredibly awkward parties, I have compiled a list of the most monster-like high school archetypes: Continue Reading


Frosh-cessities: Seeing your high school friends anew… and getting annoyed

Wait was high school like this? I forget.

Thanksgiving is just around the corner, and for most freshmen this means first-time reunions with old friends are imminent. Seeing old friends is exciting! Remember that time [insert classic high school memory]? Such good times. Reuniting is going to be great.

But you should know that it’s probably not going to be. After returning from Homecoming weekend at my old boarding school, I’ve decided that nostalgia is kind of a dumb and overrated emotion. It’s easy to get confused about what high school was actually like with all that Alicia Silverstone, Heath Ledger, and more recently, Josh Schwartz have told us: that it was awesome, dramatic, and full of beautiful people.

It was not like that. First of all, you probably attended classes if you’re now at Brown, and you also did some homework. Also, pimples.

So you go back, and there’s that uncomfortable party that everyone goes to with a certain set of expectations:

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