Drunk/Drunk/Sober/High/Crossfaded: Frosh Ball

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The BlogBabies were itching to get in on the Drunk/Sober/High action, and what’s more freshman than a Frosh Ball? Given that freshmen only roam in packs, we found it appropriate to expand the usual three person group by adding two new members, Crossfaded and another Drunk! We present the first ever Drunk/Drunk/Sober/High/Crossfaded.

Since no one ever shows up on time, we all agreed to meet at 10:00 p.m. to do our respective imbibing and/or smoking (or neither, poor Sober). 

10:03 p.m. Cross has already taken 3 shots by the time the rest of the BlogBabies arrive. She has been feeling nauseous and hungover all day, so she did not eat dinner. Not her best decision.

10:05 p.m. High shows up already pretty high because he “comes prepared.” For additional preparation, as he tells us later, he watched “a shit load of Ru Paul’s Drag Race before [he] came.”

In a rare turn of events for D/S/H, Sober is the last to arrive… prepared with her journalistic integrity and iPhone for notes.

Very quickly, Cross and High decide they need to be high/higher, respectively, and so commences the search for an appropriate place to smoke. In response to the suggestion of the trash room, High notes that “It is where I belong.”

10:14 p.m. We’ve found a room willing to host us.

10:16 p.m. Cross is fairly drunk now that she’s about 6 shots in. She’s pleased with herself for being functional enough to prep her bong.

C: Aren’t you always amazed when you see drunk people roll just the nicest jays ever? Muscle memory, man!

H: It looks like an Erlenmeyer flask. Would you like to meet my bowl, Venus? Looks like the atmosphere of Venus.

Drunk 1: Wait, how do you know that?

H:  I don’t know, I haven’t been there.

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Apparently this is Venus’    atmosphere. High’s bowl looked nothing like this.

10:32 p.m. Sober realizes that everyone is saying “Bojangles” for some unbeknownst reason and is once again realizing she is way too sober to deal with everyone.

Cross is staring at them while they go over the pronunciation of this weird word. She says nothing because she has NO idea what bojangles is. Is it the name of a famous clown like Bozo? A chain food place? A TV character? Continue Reading


Drunk/Sober/High: Mister Sister

One snowy Saturday, three bloggers decided to get drunk, sober, and high and go to Sky Zone Indoor Trampoline Park. Upon arrival, they were informed that the wait time was over two hours. After contemplating bribing small children with candy for their special orange Sky Zone socks or sneaking into an 8-year-old’s birthday party, they decided it would be best to put their jumping plans on hold. What was Plan B, you might ask? No, not ceramics painting, or attending the Providence Children’s Museum. The bloggers decided to venture to Wickenden Street’s own sex shop, Mister Sister. There, they stumbled upon a variety of edible sex items and decided to try–or in this case just taste–them. 

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A taste (get it?!) of what’s to come…

High: I’ve been to Mister Sister before (guilty), but never bought anything. I think I might want to touch everything. I hope the employee working there can’t tell I’m high. Wow, I never realized how many random fucking fast food restaurants there are in Rhode Island.

This place is awesome and freaky at the same time. If you’ve never been in, you should go. I’ve always wondered why we have a campus sex shop and not, like, a chopped salad restaurant. I know those things are completely unrelated, but I think I’m still angry about Skewers. Such a waste of space.

Drunk: I didn’t realize just how many shapes could be transformed into a vibrator. Some look like small pebbles that you could skip across a river, while others resemble Gumby. Christian’s Grey’s character makes more sense after flipping boxes to find the price tags – most “toys” were $60+. My budget doesn’t really cover kinky at the moment.

Sober: Drunk is giggling to herself. High keeps touching everything, which for some reason makes me uncomfortable even though I know the display products are clean. Some of these vibrators are so small and cute!!!

Continue Reading