And why don’t we have school TODAY?

Yesterday was political; today is just straight up gastronomical.

Option #1: Go swipe some produce from the Ratty and celebrate National Banana Bread Day.

Or if you aren’t feeling crafty, eat it straight up — participate in National Grapefruit Month.

Alternatively, if you want to get out of the dining halls, head over to IHOP for National (Free) Pancake Day.

Though the Providence IHOP is open 24 hours (defying the logic behind Store “24” and 2 a.m. bar closings), stop by between 7 a.m. and 10 p.m. for a free stack of pancakes (in exchange for a donation to a local children’s hospital).

And for those of you still at home, don’t neglect the ones who love you most. It’s International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day.

Why don’t we have school today?

Not that we’re complaining; we’re just confused. Usually, we get off the third Monday (and Tuesday) in February in honor of President’s Day.

Thinking there had to be some plausible reason for the switch (outside of just standard registrar-related scheduling issues), we investigated.

Today is Single Tasking Day, honoring the idea that “multitasking is ineffective — and may cause brain damage.” Just what every Brown student currently camped out in the Rock was dying to hear.

On the other hand, there’s World Thinking Day, bringing you the opportunity to ponder more holistically (courtesy of the Girl Scouts).

St. Lucia celebrates independence today, while Florida remembers being handed from one owner to another.

But let’s get real for a minute. Maybe Brown is just trying to make a statement and return President’s Day to its truthful origins. George Washington was born on February 22, but the Uniform Monday Holiday Act (honestly; it’s real) ensures that the holiday will never actually fall on his birthday. (It always hits sometime between Feb. 15 and 21.)

So thank you, Brown, for teaching us the real meaning of Washington’s birthday.