Sextion: Bachelor(ette) pad must-haves

Hookup: “No way, you love Nickelback too??”

Before you know it, you and Hookup are on top of each other. Your hand on the back of their neck. Their hand running through your luscious head of hair. Both of you thinking you’re the master of seduction (keep telling yourself that). You whisper, “Let’s go back to my place,” because that’s what TV and movies have told you to do, and the two of you begin your stumbling, wobbly journey across campus to the overflowing landfill that is your dorm room.

Things are going smoothly until you remember that you didn’t expect making it this far.

Shit.

Don’t be unprepared, be ready. Here’s our must-have supplies list for hooking up in your bachelor(ette) pad:

The basics:

  • Spare toothbrush: Hookup’s had a wild day. From Andrews Commons’ breakfast burrito to mystery hooch, their breath probably isn’t doing so hot. Be their knight in shining armor and hand them one of your toothbrushes lying around (not the one you use to scrub toilets with). While you’re at it, hit them up with some floss, and you’re practically their dentist.
  • Baby wipes: Time is money, they say. Well in this case, time is what both of you don’t have to take a shower and clean yourselves before passing out. Grab a couple of wipes, rub off that stank of the day from your armpits and groin, and you’ll both be as fresh as Will Smith from that one show in west Philadelphia.

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Sextion: Avoiding the post-hookup cold

Sextion

It’s getting late on a Friday night and you’re feeling lucky: whether you met dancing to that one song at a party or you matched on Brown Hookups, you’ve found the phe you’re hoping to take home tonight. Unfortunately, you have midterms, practice, and/or a life to get to next week and catching a cold is really not an option. Resources like the Sexual Health Awareness Group (SHAG) are here to make sure you’re fully protected from the more important stuff, but BlogDH is here with some ways to avoid the cough/congestion/headache everyone seems to be getting on Tuesday.

First, let’s quickly clear a few things up: There seems to be some debate as to whether or not you can catch a cold from kissing (pro). Unfortunately,  it can be transferred through just about everything else: their pillow, breath, etc. (con).

People are also most contagious before they show symptoms, so even if there are no tissues on the dresser you should still follow these tips:

1. Get your flu shot: If you missed getting one in Faunce, it’s not too late. Head to Health Services or to CVS for one of the quickest and easiest ways to protect yourself this season. Get that special someone to come with you and hold your hand in the case of fear of needles.

2. Hydrate up: The thirst is real. You’re going to be sweating off some electrolytes, and just like with any workout, you’re going to need to replenish them. Not to mention that drinking plenty of liquids is the best way to ward off congestion.

3. Take a hot shower: Showering after a hookup is always a good idea. The hotter the water, the better for getting clean. Bonus if you invite your partner to shower with you.

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Where to hook-up… again

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Finals period has reared its ugly head, and once again, all we can think about here at BlogDH is sex. With everyone thinking about sex, what do you do when you come back to your room with your hook-up, only to find that your roommate beat you to it? Don’t despair, because as you’ve read in some of our previous posts, there are so many other places you can go to have a good time. There are those places we walk by on campus and say “damn, I would so get it on here,” and then there are the less glorious places that have a more utilitarian appeal. Here are some of our dreams and some of our realities when it comes to fun outside of your dorm:

Bamboo Garden – Sort of the inevitable outdoors hook up at Brown. You were probably just at Jo’s after some serious rounds of beer pong, and you think bamboo sticks are pretty and Zen.  Next thing you know, your feng shui is all up in a sexy somebody and the clothes are coming off.  If you don’t mind the cold, this is a very achievable option for a fun hook up.  However, beware, people have been known to piss in the stalks.

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Sextion: The spring fever hookup guide

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BlogDailyHerald is proud to introduce our newest Sextion writer, David Johnson!

The season of the Polar Vortex was all about cuddling, sipping hot cocoa, binge watching “House of Cards” with your significant other, and basically using their body heat to save on your gas bill. Now that it’s getting warmer, the birds and the bees are back, frisky squirrels are chasing each other around the Main Green, and breakups are a dime a dozen (I’m looking at you, Senior Scramblers). In the animal kingdom, we call this mating season. In college, we call it Spring Fever.

Luckily, Spring Weekend is just around the corner — the perfect opportunity for curing our Spring Fever. Now that walking to a party across campus doesn’t feel like March of the Penguins, the tanks are breaking out, and maybe even some shorts. Everyone’s attitude says sun’s-out-gun’s-out, so if you are interested in getting busy romantic, this weekend is all about letting loose and having fun. It’s a great time to break the ice with someone new — maybe even someone you’ve been secretly crushing on. When the options range from Chance to Binder to Fratty in the Ratty, how do you know where your perfect guy/girl will be raging? Use this field guide to find out.

The Hipster Heartbreaker

Found at: Chance the Rapper

The Hipster Heartbreaker is that DGAF kid that you have been crushing on forever. Probably more “Prepster” than a true RISD Hipster, you first saw them while stalking your class Facebook page the summer before arriving at Brown, and since then, they have proved to be even cooler than you imagined. The Hipster Heartbreaker is trendy and intelligent, probably concentrating in MCM or Comp Lit, and has a Georgia O’Keeffe coffee table book in the living room of their Barbour suite. Despite your better judgment, you can’t help crushing on them. They have gone through numerous partners over the years because no one can seem to keep up with them. But you’re sure that you can.

How to spot: The Hipster Heartbreaker is wearing an awesome Spring Weekend tank that you totally didn’t see when you were choosing which one to buy. They have that casually perfect “I woke up like dis” look, making you wonder, “did you wake up like that?? And why the heck can’t I?!” The Hipster Heartbreaker is either wearing a knit beanie or has hat hair (the sexy, pushed back kind) because they just took it off.

How to break the ice:

  • Stand next to them and say loudly: “I mean, my cousin went to high school with Chance the Rapper in Chicago so like… I’ve basically known about him since 2011.”

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