Although it feels somewhat unclear if winter is actually coming (see: 70-degree highs a week and a half ago), it is already November. Midterms are sort of starting to wrap up, but the f-word (f*nals) is starting to work its way into on-campus dialogue, and seminar papers are no longer the stuff of myths. Ugh.
In other words, whether we like it or not, it’s that time of the semester where work becomes a thing that’s real. So, in honor of the impending misery that is actually being productive, here’s a quick guide to which study spots on and around campus are hot and which ones are not. Literally.
HOT: J. Walter Wilson. For some odd reason, JWW is consistently just slightly warmer than one would expect. I really don’t know how I feel about it.
NOT: The Rock, Main Reading Room. I wouldn’t necessarily call it cold, but the main area of the Rock is definitely not hot. Actually, it’s quite pleasant.
College Basketball. So hot right now. College Basketball. This prediction has been made before. There’s something about the calendar turning to March that makes everyone suddenly interested in college hoops.
Do not be deceived by this week’s unseasonable warmth. If you’ve checked the forecast for this weekend, you know that it’s going to be really cold outside. Coping with the freezing weather is no easy task, so here’s my guide to some of the warmest spots on campus for those moments when you just can’t deal.
10/10 would stand under.
The vents outside the Bio-Med Center. Ever wondered about those peculiar structures on the patio of the Bio-Med Center? To be honest, I’m not entirely sure of their purpose, though they definitely give off a ton of heat (especially the one closer to Brown Street). If you’re ever strolling on Meeting Street and feel like you might freeze to death, make a beeline for these vents. The air is super warm, and their alcove-like structures block most of the frigid wind.
Behind Pembroke Hall (vents part 2). Leaving a meeting in Smitty B and can’t handle the awful weather, or need that extra push to make it to Andrews? Stop by the back of Pembroke Hall, where you’ll find a gorgeous vent pumping out warm air like it’s nobody’s business. This particular vent’s unique shape is perfect for heating your entire body.
Who knew academia could be so HOT?
Friedman Auditorium, Metcalf Research Building. Despite its sleek design and its 210-seat capacity, the lecture hall in Metcalf is surprisingly cozy. Sure, snooping around an empty lecture hall on a weekend might seem a bit creepy, and sure, there’s no guarantee that the building will be unlocked, but if you’re able to sneak in, it’ll be worth it!
Last week, Harvard’s Fifteen Minutesmagazine released its list of the 15 hottest students in Harvard’s freshman class. The internet responded accordingly. First, Gawker offered its perspective on the situation, hoping to gain clarity on “exactly what medical steps are being taken to correct their thermoregulatory disorders.” Then, Fifteen Minutes’ parent publication, The Harvard Crimson, released its list of the 14 coldest freshmen at Harvard, satisfying the curiosity of those who desperately wanted to know what was taking place at the “other end of the spectrum.”
The sheer absurdity of Fifteen Minutes’ list got us thinking, too. At first, we were confused. On what basis and/or metrics does one rate another’s “hotness”? Is it their physical appearance? Their body temperature? The degree to which they’re hot and bothered? Determined to apply a similar framework in a Brunonian setting, we went out on a search for Brown’s 15 hottest freshmen, and we found them. Our metrics? These freshmen had to be as toasty as Flatbread Co.’s wood-fired ovens—drenched in sweat, feverish, thirsty, red-faced, and clad in multiple layers.
We now present to you the Brown Class of 2017’s 15 hottest freshmen. (See full profiles after the jump.)