The housing lottery is, besides SPG and Spring Weekend, the most infamous event at Brown. And the housing lottery is the most terrifying for the poor, bewildered freshman. Not to worry–we’ve got you covered. Below, you’ll find a 360-degree view of one room in each sophomore dorm (Not pictured: Grad Center D and a few rooms on Vartan Gregorian Quad). To make the housing lottery feel a little less like warfare and a little more like online shopping!
Barbour is a bit far from the center of campus, but is in close proximity to East Side Mini Mart, Louis, Bagel Gourmet, and Wickenden Street. Basically if you like brunch, Barbour is the place for you. While it’s bunker-esque facade (and interior, actually) lacks charm, it’s a great place for those of you hoping for a suite with a private kitchen and bathroom. However, do be warned that not all Barbour rooms are suites with the aforementioned amenities.
Caswell is one of the older dorms, but it doesn’t show. The dorm is centrally located on Ruth Simmons quad, mere minutes away from the Ratty, the Main Green, and the SciLi. The rooms are fairly spacious and the windows are large, meaning there is a lot of natural light. The one downside to living in Caswell is that there is no elevator, making moving in a hassle.
I asked everyone to leave so we could have our privacy.
Dear Sayles Hall,
How are you? For 133 years old, you’re looking great. You’ve been a loving host to student group rehearsals, SPEC events, and The Housing Games (RIP). Heck, you have even been to SPG! Have I mentioned you have the largest remaining Hutchings-Votey pipe organ in the world?! Seriously, thnks4themmrs and way to be you.
Hey, there is something I’ve wanted to talk to you about. I’ve been on staff here at BlogDH for three years and have never written a Flog. I’ve never really wanted to because I hate complaining and I seek to see the glass half-full as frequently as possible. Until now.
I’m quite bad at confrontation and don’t want this to come as a shock to you. Please bear with me as I try to express my feelings. I will even try to speak from the “I” perspective. What I’ve been meaning to tell you is that your bathrooms are literally the worst thing about this entire institution for higher learning.
Was that too harsh?
Let me explain myself. We can start by talking about the location of your facilities. Your only bathrooms are located in the basement of the building, which is an absurd amount of steps away from your third floor
dungeon. I could also get into all of the sense that your stairs lack, but I digress.
Given my abnormally small bladder, I always face this dilemma as to whether I should commit myself to hiking the literal Oregon Trail to get to your facilities or if I should just suffer the bladder discomfort. Also, seriously my bad if I’m taking this the wrong way, but it seems that you are proud of this trek and wear it as a badge of honorable character. You really shouldn’t, Sayles. I dare you to have one more sign telling me that your only bathrooms are located in the basement. Also stop sugar-coating it by calling it “the lower level.” It is the basement.
With the brand new online Housing Lottery happening this week, we thought it would be appropriate to give students the ability to cater their dorm-preferences to their sexual ones. So, below we have a list of some sexual activities and preferences, and where you should live if you want to engage in them.
Exhibitionism (sight): if the thing that gets you off most is the possibility of being seen while engaging in sexual activity, I would suggest living right on Wriston Quad or Patriot’s Court. These areas get a lot of foot traffic, and the rooms are very visible to passersby. Rooms in Marcy and Diman can be seen from almost all sides, but if you’re living in Sears (where AXO and Phi Psi are), pick a room that either faces the quad or George Street behind. Or you could live in New Dorm, picking a room that faces onto Vartan Gregorian Quad — that’ll really give people an eyeful as they come to Jo’s on a Friday or Saturday night. And of course, stand near the window. And for all of you lovely voyeurs out there, now you know where to look.
Exhibitionism (sound): if you love the idea of someone hearing you have sex, every little breath, moan, scream, and bed-spring squeak, I would suggest living in Grad Center. As those who have ever lived in Grad Center can attest, being next-door neighbors with someone loud is not the issue, it’s those that live directly above you. As my friend Rory says, “Not only can I hear when the people above me have sex, I can hear their phone vibrations and the sound of their G-chat going off.” So, if you want to be heard, pick a suite in Grad Center above the first floor, though honestly pretty much every dorm could use some better sound insulation. But, be warned, your neighbors probably won’t like you.
*Cue accent from the Capitol* Let the games begin!
In case you didn’t already know, the Housing Lottery has moved to a completely online process. ResCouncil has started giving info sessions for how to approach the housing games. Luckily for everyone who didn’t make it, BlogDH was there to record some essential facts.
You have until March 20 to enter the lottery with your group. If you are looking for other people to enter the lottery with, be sure to check out ResCouncil’s Facebook event “Roommate Connecting.” It’s guaranteed to be at least slightly less anxiety-inducing than a Blind Bears date!
When you pick your group leader, you are picking the person that will select all of the rooms for your housing group. You want to pick someone that is responsible and generally available from 3 p.m. to 10 p.m., as those are the times that the lottery will be taking place (April 7 through April 10). If there is an emergency or a serious conflict and the selected person cannot get online to choose your rooms, you can contact Reslife and change your group leader.
Your group should receive a lottery number AND a lottery time slot. Your lottery number will just give you a sense of your ranking in the student body participating in the process. Your lottery time slot is much more important, as it will tell you what specific time your group leader needs to be on the lottery website to select rooms. Each group will get a specific 3 minute time slot. After three minutes, you can still select a room, but the group that has the next slot will also be allowed onto the system. Be aware that unless you have the first time slot, it is possible that you will log on to a system that already has the previous time slot’s group leader on it. That being said, there is no priority for time slots once you are selecting a room in those minutes; it is entirely about who clicks first. It is in your best interest to act as quickly as possible. Continue Reading
ResLife announced yesterday via email that starting this year, the housing lottery will be held online. Get ready for this year’s Housing Games: The Quarter Quell. We applaud ResLife’s move into the 21st century, but we’re also skeptical about their ability to use the internet. How will the new system work? Here are the Blog Odds:
The lottery site will crash – 1:1
After the BSA Spring Weekend tickets debacle, we don’t have much faith.
Brown-Secure will implode once and for all – 2:1
The housing lottery will be a giant game of FarmVille – 75:1
Alternatively, lottery numbers are awarded based on Neopoints.
Housing itself is moving online, and we will all live in cyberspace – 200:1
This is a scheme by last year’s lottery loser so no one shows up to Sayles and she gets first pick – 8:1
The CS concentrators will get all the good housing lottery numbers – 3:1
A.K.A. The Housing Hackathon.
This is a precursor to the next “Hunger Games” book, in which the games are held online and whomever clicks on the Cornucopia fastest wins – 150:1
Obviously, Katniss will win because her Mockingjay pin doubles as a WiFi hotspot.
Beyoncé releases another surprise album at the same time as the lottery and everyone is too conflicted to do anything – 40:1
The online lottery will go smoothly and everyone will live happily ever after – 999:1
As always, may the (Blog) odds be ever in your favor.