Brown student trolls NBC 10 reporter

In a TV clip that got picked up by New York magazine’s website (and was also featured on BuzzFeed), a young man whom NBC 10 reporter Alison Bologna identified as a Brown student expressed his skepticism over the existence of Hurricane Sandy (Cohen). The student, who was hanging out at the Fox Point Hurricane Barrier, offered this possible explanation for the inclement weather: ”I know the government wants us to think that [there's a hurricane], but think about it, the earth rotates very quickly.” Before you all freak out, we got in contact with this student and, as you may have guessed, HE WAS JOKING. Anyone who has recently checked out the absolutely terrible Eyed @ Brown might know that Brown students will jump at any chance they can to engage in trolling activities. And let’s be real, is there an easier target than local news?

Also, sweet MCM shout out K-Roose. Here are some of the MCM course offerings for next spring: MCM2100I: Habits of Living: Affect and New Media, MCM1202L: The Many Faces of Casanova, & MCM1202J: Faking Globalization.


Your Superstorm Sandy (Cohen) Update: Eatery re-openings

Eastside Marketplace too far? Your pantry emptying at an exponentially quick rate thanks to our friend Sandy? Don’t worry—our friends at dining services have notified us of a few on campus eatery re-openings for today:

Jo’s and the Gate will be opening for their normal hours tonight (6 p.m.–2 a.m,).

Poppy’s, located in the Nelson Fitness Center, will be open at 10 a.m.

The Campus Market will be open at 2 p.m. today.

We all know Sandy Cohen would approve that we’re back on our eating game—he’d hate for you to miss that bagel and schmear. That is if you think you can brave the sun storm…


What to burn to stay warm during Superstorm Sandy (Cohen)

Doesn't make you Jake Gyllenhaal though

Now that classes are canceled again, we’re in it for the long haul, but rations might be running out and conditions are getting grimmer. The lights are flickering, heating might be going out, and oh god you haven’t had a Blue Room sandwich in over 24 hours. If Sandy (Cohen) turns out to be the 2012 Apocalypse (a bit too soon), and civilization needs to resort to desperate measures to stay alive, here’s a list of makeshift firewood for the new dark ages.

Not sure how you’d be reading this though… do iPhones still work at the end of the world?

1. Candles
ResLife is huddling together for warmth somewhere away from campus, so forget the $100 fine and light ‘em up!

Continue Reading


Your Hurricane Sandy (Cohen) Update: It’s raining sideways

Today’s Hurricane Day was a welcomed break from the tedium of midterms and, of course, an extension of the Halloweek festivities. We saw a little rain, lots of inside-out umbrellas near the infamous SciLi wind tunnel, and remnants of fall foliage strewn all over the streets. But Governor Chafee ’75 P’14 has warned that it’s going to get a lot worse: “The forecast is ominous.” The governor has spoken.

We have taken it upon ourselves to be your very own Al Roker. Here’s what is happening in our neck of the woods:

  • As of 6:50 p.m., 100,000+ National Grid customers in Rhode Island were without power.
  • Southern New England will see the most rain and wind from 7–9 p.m. tonight.
  • A coastal flood warning is in effect until 1 p.m. tomorrow.
  • A High Wind Warning is in effect until 6 a.m. Tuesday morning. Winds will remain around 35–45 mph but have the potential to reach 75 mph.
  • In addition to Brown, URI and CCRI have cancelled classes for tomorrow. Margaret Klawunn, you might be our new hero. You are officially invited into the elite gang of school administrators we are obsessed with.  We’re sure Dean Bova and K-Berg will be thrilled that you’re joining them.  Who knows? Maybe next year you’ll make it onto our Halloween banner.

Your Hurricane Sandy (Cohen) Update: No classes…again!

Four-day Halloweekend? Yes. The weather gods have spoken. There will be no classes on Tuesday, October 30. Thank you, Margaret Klawunn. HYFR!


How to do Halloween in a hurricane

Hurricane Sandy (Cohen) will not prevent our Halloween festivities from taking place; it may just mix them a little wet. Every cloud (including huge, scary ones) has a silver lining. Use the rain to your advantage to come up with some aquatic Halloween costumes. Consider the following five ideas as you trek through the Frankenstorm:

1) A rubber duck is a completely waterproof costume. Stay dry by wearing yellow or orange rain boots and a yellow poncho. If you’re feeling really creative, you can make bubbles by attaching clear balloons to your costume so that you’re a floating rubber duck.

2) If you don’t want to feel awkward holding an umbrella, dress up as a childhood favorite: Mary Poppins. You can even stay warm with a big red coat. Continue Reading