SNL’s Stefon’s Guide to Summer

If the Hangover, Godfather, and Spider-Man franchises taught us anything, it was that you can never ruin something great by doing it not once, not twice, but three times. So, here is Stefon is back to give you the hottest tips on the hottest parties for what is sure to be the hottest summer ever (#globalwarming #parties).

stefon

If you don’t know who Stefon is yet, that means you have no life and don’t enjoy laughter; it also means that you don’t read my blog posts, which is hurtful, rude, and you should just leave. Stefon’s return to Blog marks the end of the year, and the beginning of summer. I (Hank as Stefon) could not be more excited for summer, so without further ado, here is a list of hot parties (pun very much intended) to look out for this summer.

The hottest party this summer is… pool party. Everyone has that one friend they pretend to be friends with because they have a pool. So make sure to text that loser and act like you are interested in how their year was and secure yourself an invite to their above ground pool now. Cool off poolside, with some skunked beers from the trunk of your friend’s dad’s car, your swim shirt (not because you aren’t comfortable with your body, but because surfers wear them, and surfers are cool, just like you), and deflated floaties. Pools are dope, and so are you, so why would’t you kick it poolside? Nothing is more fun then swimming through all the dead leaves and bugs floating on the top of the water! Fun pool games include trying to hold your breath underwater for five minutes, belly flop contests, and swimming the butterfly.

A good example of a pool party

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PSA: It’s Free Cone Day at Ben & Jerry’s!

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Ben & Jerry’s is giving us one more thing to be excited about this week: FREE ice cream. Although the weather forecast for today is less than ideal for enjoying your cone outside on the Green, free is free. From 12-8 p.m. you can line up on Thayer to get yourself a complimentary cone. Before you ask: No, Ben & Jerry’s did not plan this around Spring Week. Weirdly enough, it’s a nation-wide thing that’s been happening since 1979, and just has super fortuitous timing this year. Spring has sprung!

Image via.


ADOCH Ice Cream Social is the forbidden fruit

Our thoughts exactly

WHY?!

We have recently been informed that Brown’s Administration has placed sanctions on all non-ADOCH-volunteer Brown students with regard to the infamous Ice Cream Social. This year, all pre-frosh have been given special high-tech lanyards that will scan them into all ADOCH events. What’s next, the BroPo officers as robots with authorization to kill?

To avoid a dangerous campus-wide revolt, here are some options for getting your hands on ice cream of the elite:

-Seduce the volunteer nearest to you. Before he/she gets his/her clothes back on, steal the red shirt.

-Tape yourself to the back of an innocent pre-frosh.

-Dress up as a professor with intentions to ‘mingle.’

-Drop out of Brown, re-apply, get accepted, and attend the Ice Cream Social as a legitimate pre-frosh.

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Cookie sandwiches at the Blue Room TODAY!

The Blue Room — home to no shortage of desert specials — will feature cookie sandwiches today starting at 4 p.m. What exactly is a cookie sandwich, you ask? Aaron Fitzsenry, culinary manager for retail dining, explained in an email to us:

— You pick a couple fresh cookies, like choc chip, oatmeal, cranberry and white choc, or double choc mint. This is chocolate heavy.
— You pick either Espresso Fudge Ripple or Caramel Caribou (with choc cups) ice cream and we make an ice cream cookie sandwich. Really chocolate heavy.
— You get to enjoy this monster with a cup of Mocho, my cappuccino/cocoa mix.  And marshmallows.  Lots of mini marshmallows.

Where did this idea come from? “It started as a twitter request for the most outlandish way possible to do ‘cookies and milk,'” he wrote.

Get it while it lasts!


Amuse-Bouche: Three Sisters and Wildflour (epic mealtime on Hope!)

I can't believe it's not dairy!

This week at Amuse-Bouche, we’re shaking things up a little. A recent jaunt up Hope Street returned not one but two great finds in the grab-lunch-and-chill-out category. Three Sisters and its neighbor Wildflour are like Tia and Tamara or Mary Kate and Ashley (only a lot less annoying than either set of twins): They share the best things in common, probably have overlapping crowds, and seem the same on the surface, but deep down they’re like yin and yang. Three Sisters, a way-casual café, is known for its home-churned ice cream; Wildflour is vegan. Three Sisters is aggressively no-frills; Wildflour is bougie. Both sell themselves with that beautiful combination of freshly made foodstuffs, coffee and smoothies, free WiFi, and plenty of space for camping out. Only one problem: HOW TO CHOOSE?! Here’s the lowdown on both to help you decide. Continue Reading