FlogDailyHerald: “Imagine Brown 250+” makes no sense

To be clear, I am very appreciative of the 250th committee and everything they have sponsored and organized for us in the past few months. I think it’s amazing that by sheer luck we are students during this epic marker of Brown’s history, and that we get to benefit from all the festivities thrown in the university’s honor. I love fireworks and big building-shaped cakes. I’m a huge fan of cool-alum panels, I own a copy of The Brown Reader, and I thought bringing Binder to the Main Green on a Sunday for alumni and their frolicking children to enjoy was an especially nice touch. But it has to be said: “Imagine Brown 250+” is an incredibly dumb phrase.

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I hate “Imagine Brown 250+” so, so much. It makes no sense. It is on a flag pole every thirty feet, plastered on giant signs on buildings, on sweatshirts in the bookstore, and thrown around like crazy in casual conversation and yet no one acknowledges that it makes no sense.

Years of college-level textual analysis have taught me well, so I’m capable of explaining why this phrase sucks on many levels. Firstly, there is the meaning of the phrase. Think for a second about what the phase “Imagine Brown 250+” is trying to communicate. It says, hey, let’s think about Brown in an unspecified time in the future. That’s actually not what the past few months of celebration have been about at all. Continue Reading


Imagine Brown 500+ is gonna be awesome

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The 250th anniversary celebrations were so much fun. Sadly, they’re behind us now, and we have nothing else to distract us from our studies. But fear not! Using BlogDH’s time-travel machine, I have visited the future and return bearing good news: If you thought the 250th celebrations were fun, you’re going to love Brown’s 500th anniversary extravaganza. Here are some of the best events on the docket for 2264:

Friday, September 23rd, 2264

The party kicks off with the ceremonial unfreezing of Noam Chomsky, who has been preserved Han Solo-style in the SciLi basement since 2015. Light refreshments will be served.

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Noam, just minutes before we chucked him into a vat of Carbonite.

Three words: Robochicken finger Friday!

At seven, the football game against Harvard. Brown victory guaranteed.

Ferries to the mainland will leave every half hour from the Benefit Street Waterfront (Note for 2014 readers: Due to rising sea levels, College Hill will be all that’s left of Rhode Island by 2264. While this is certainly unfortunate for everyone, it finally validates the naming of the state Rhode “Island.”) 

Scuba tours of the RISD Museum will also be offered throughout the day. (Note for 2014 readers: We have no one to blame but ourselves.) 

Continue Reading