The types of Providence drivers I encounter when I jaywalk

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I’m just a boy from a town down south, so one thing that I still have not gotten used to about life at Brown is the jaywalking situation. I’m bad at it. I really am. And it stresses me out.

Normally, I always wait until the light turns red and that little glowy guy signals my safety when crossing the street. But, if I’m in a hurry (or am walking with one of you fearless bastards from NYC), I sometimes have to cross the street when there’s the potential for oncoming traffic.

But here’s the thing: sometimes, halfway through crossing, I get cold feet and maybe feel like I should turn around. That’s stupid of me, I know, but I do it. As a result, I almost get hit by cars a lot. And I’ve started to notice some patterns in the types of people who almost run me over. So here they are, in no particular order. [Ed. – please note that there is no verification that any of this is real. We’re not really sure ourselves.]

The Grandma in a prius

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She’s an expert knitter, alright, but she’s also in a hurry. Maybe her book club starts in an hour. Her car is also almost silent, too, so it sneaks up on you. But it has great mileage.

The Otis Spunkemeyer truck

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This cookie empire sends it’s trucks to Providence every once in a while and that’s when things get dangerous. To clarify, I wasn’t almost hit head-on by one of these things. Actually, they keep almost backing over me while I frantically try to pick the lock on the back. One of these days, I’ll get those cookies. If the cookies don’t get me first.

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