Back in the days when the Keeney Crawl was a thing

“The Keeney Crawl doesn’t exist anymore,” Adam Alpert ’17 lamented. “We have been deprived of a Keeney tradition dating back more than half a century.”

Reviving this so-called Keeney crawl, where Keeneyites (and other first years!) wander through the three once-connected dorms, in hopes of stumbling upon new friends and partaking in the rite of passage that is Keeney freshman debauchery, is the goal of four intrepid first years.

Adam Alpert ’17, Dan Boulanger ’17, Oliver Hirt ’17, and Jacob Kirschenbaum ’17 have created a petition to reopen the doors giving any first year in Keeney inside access to all three buildings. The petition, which was written a week and a half ago by Kirschenbaum and Alpert and edited and finalized with the help of Hirt and Boulanger last night, was posted on the Brown University Class of 2017–Admitted Students Facebook group last night.

While some people were camped out in the basement of Faunce last night for their SPG tickets, the four set up base in Arnold Lounge last night and garnered over 220 signatures, a significant number but still well under the group’s 500-signature goal. The second round of signing will take place tonight from 8:00-midnight in Arnold Lounge. 

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It’s official. We all knew the time would come. We were awaiting this day with bated breath. And now it’s finally here. Bathrooms in Keeney are gendered.

The new gendered bathroom signs in Keeney.

This issue is divisive among Keeneyites, and while some units have let the new signs be, other floors decided enough was enough, as dissenters whipped out their Sharpies and lined paper and took matters into their own hands.

Brown students are known for their self-expression and creativity, and these vandalized signs don’t disappoint. So, without further ado…

The new (and for some, improved) Keeney signage…

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As everyone (especially embittered sophomores-seniors) knows, over the past two years, Keeney has undergone massive renovations, turning the shittiest shithole into a better slightly worse Hotel Andrews. While some may think the only differences between old Keeney and new Keeney are that it doesn’t constantly reek of weed and there aren’t cockroaches on the floor, there are a few key innovations. First, there are some questionable color scheme choices (lime green themed Everett/Poland?) and second, there are dorm-wide gender-neutral bathrooms.

Scandalous.

Non-gendered bathrooms had many skeptical parents raising their eyebrows on move-in day and left some kids slightly uneasy. Indeed, that poor little freshman boy trying to reinvent himself as a ladykiller has to take a shit in front of that cute girl who lives next to him on the first night.

Units reacted in a variety of ways–some embraced being in the liberal bastion of the world and decided to go with the flow. Other units created makeshift gender signs for the bathrooms. But, over the past month, most Keeneyites had become comfortable doing their business in front of anyone.

Fast forward: ResLife announces that there is “no change in policy regarding restrooms in Keeney,” which actually means they fucked up and put up gender-neutral signs instead of gendered signs even though that makes no sense which means that gendered bathrooms will be reinstated soon.

We set out to capture the campus buzz surrounding gender neutral bathrooms by asking Keeneyites this simple question: “What do you think about ResLife implementing gendered bathrooms in Keeney?” (Due to privacy concerns, every interviewee is anonymous.)

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Keeney Quad–formerly known to some as “Kee-nasty”–underwent renovation last summer. But ResLife wasn’t done: even more renovation happened this summer. The changes include:

• The building has been physically divided into its three houses using locked doors.
• The hallways have been overhauled.
• The exit signs are of the new, indestructible type.
• Bathrooms have been renovated and turned to gender-neutral.
• New wheelchair-accessible, single-use bathrooms have been created in certain locations.
• Additional lounges have been added.
• Courtyards have been upgraded, with vertical banners identifying the houses.

Without further ado, the photos:

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As many of you probably know, there was a fire in a Jameson 3rd floor room Monday night at around 7:00 p.m. Rumor is that it started when a lit candle caught a curtain, but we’re not here to speculate about that. Though no one was hurt, the fire, of course, has affected many more students than just the resident(s) of that room. A couple of hours after firefighters had put out the blaze, Res Life sent out an email telling students from the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd floors of Jameson to “relocate for the evening.” According to the same email, students had an opportunity to grab their things and prepare for one of numerous slumber parties throughout the rest of Keeney that night.

Until earlier today, however, students were still unsure when they would be back in their rooms. According to a second email sent out this evening, people on the 1st and 2nd floors would be allowed back into their room on Friday, April 26 once necessary repairs were complete. They had until 9 p.m. tonight to pick up whatever they needed. Those who live on the 3rd floor would be back in their rooms by Monday, April 29. Res Life has offered students “temporary housing” – if they aren’t down for a longterm sleepover at a friend’s, in which case they can still pick up an extra mattress – and has gone the extra mile to send students a list of instructions for making property damage claims for damaged belongings (check after the jump).

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This changes everything.

Living in Keeney has been known to have its advantages and disadvantages. For a long time, Keeney Quadrangle has been defined as a hub of activity due to its large concentration of freshmen first-years (+).  Keeney was also defined by the condition of its interior: not so great (-). The furniture was old, the bathrooms were gross, and kitchen and lounge space was scarce.

As part of a larger plan for dorm renovations, Keeney is being renovated in two phases. The first phase, which occurred this summer, overhauled and reconfigured student rooms and created new “magnet lounges” (with fancy kitchens!) on the top floors. Next summer, the bathrooms and hallways will be renovated, elevator installation will be completed, and the building will be split into three separate sections. Check out BlogDailyHerald’s tour of the new and improved Keeney after the jump.

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We just want you to know that right now is the most exciting moment of your entire life! I mean, this is the type of thing you’d think in a million, billion years is never gonna to happen to you… and even when it does, you still can’t believe it: you’re at orientation. At college, at Brown University. Freshmen, meet BlogDailyHerald. We’ll explain it all.

We all move into our freshman year differently. Maybe you’ve been coordinating a color palate with your roommate, and maybe this is the first time you heard about move-in day. Either way, you probably have some questions. Yeah, there are obviously the essentials — deodorant, socks, and that obligatory college poster — but BlogDH is here to help with those finer details of packing. We hit you with some ideas last year, but after another year of college living, and several more “I wish I hadn’t packed my rice cooker”s, we’ve amended the list so that you’ll never be without your fracket.

Do: Bring Tide to Go. BBQ sauce, beer, blood—you will encounter all of these stains your first semester (maybe even all at once!). You’ll want this to erase what denial and untagging photos on Facebook can’t.

Don’t: Bring cooking supplies. First, I will steal them from you, because I’m still damn bitter you guys get the shiny new kitchens. Second, unless you really, really want to cook, there’s no way you’re going to be making anything practical or worthwhile while in the dorms. Let’s face it—they’re going to be broken in (emphasis on broken) via the drank in your red solo cups. [Read more →]

The Hunger Games movie is coming out this Friday, and to say we’re excited is a bit of an understatement. We’ve listened to the soundtrack, watched the trailers (five times), and even have begun to play the game “RISD outfit or Capitol citizen?”

To celebrate our age-inappropriate excitement for the wholesale, post-apocalyptic slaughter of adolescents, BlogDH reimagines the world of District 12 here on College Hill:

It’s sometime in the indefinite future. Brown’s endowment is gone, and to make money, the Corporation has started The Housing Games—a nationally televised event where Americans can feed their schadenfreude and watch freshman Ivy Leaguers fight to the death.

But freshmen eagerly look forward to the competitions: awaiting everyone in the winner’s dorm is priority housing, early registration, and 500 flex points.

So fame, mortal danger, and a whole lot of Blue Room sandwiches lie ahead.

May the odds ever be in your favor, and let the Housing Games begin!

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Sláinte Mhath! The leprechaun and pot of gold have adorned our masthead, which means it must be St. Natty’s Fratty’s Spatty’s Paddy’s Day!  And this isn’t just any old Saint Patrick’s Day. It’s a Saturday. It’s pretty nice out. Spring break is around the corner. Odds are that some people reading this post are going to drink, and one (or more) of them is going to take his/her anger out on an exit sign.

This, of course, would not be an isolated incident . You’ve all at least witnessed (or have taken part in) the notorious freshman pastime of celebrating newfound freedom by obliterating a public safety device. No matter where you go (at least in Keeney), you probably will find an exit sign in some state of disrepair. Dean Richard Bova, head of ResLife, says “we probably lose 75 or more” exit signs per year, “the bulk of them in Keeney.” Even if there’s no good way to know for certain what the motive was for each incident, let’s just say most well-adjusted human beings don’t run down the hall of Bronson 2nd floor clobbering every single exit sign with a broomstick on a Tuesday morning after drinking 14 cans of Fanta Grape. [Read more →]

Starting to get those first-round-of-midterms blues? Foucault and Saussure got you down?

BlogDailyHerald’s got the medicine to pick you right back up again. Enter “The Bedroom Bandit,” the latest literary exploit of Richard Jeanty (“Author of Sexual Exploits of A Nympho I & II,” according to the novel’s cover).

“But what,” you ask “separates this from all the other erotic literature I have read?”

Well, you may or may not be surprised to learn that the eponymous character, the feisty Bandit himself, attends Brown on scholarship by day. His first-year dorm: Bronson (so it’s true what they say: Keeney is for lovers).

While you may be halfway up and out of your seat already on the way to the bookstore, the cover disclaims, “WARNING: Highly Addictive Reading Material,” so handle with care.

How long can the Bandit keep up his philandering with the housewives of Bingham Lane? And what do chapters such as “There is a God,” hold in store? Keep your eyes peeled for the full review in Post-’s literary section in coming weeks to find out…