Six reasons why you shouldn’t do laundry today

Let me preface the following article by saying I am a hygienic person. I brush my teeth at least twice a day. I wash my hands for twenty seconds under warm water with soap. I shower before leaving my room in the morning, and I get a new plate if I want seconds at the Ratty (full disclosure: I don’t want to). Having said that, here are six reasons why I never do laundry and you shouldn’t either:

1) Save money. A full cycle of laundry costs $3.00. But let’s be real: you’re doing more than one load at a time. Even if you try to cram it all in one drier, that’s $4.50 for clean clothes (read: damp). That money could be better spent on alcohol textbooks. Or hummus. Or literally anything else. Also, since the Bear Bucks machine only take bills, you’re really sacrificing the full $5.00. That shit adds up, and I ain’t no sucka.

2) I may have enough underwear and socks to last me through the apocalypse. My boxer collection could be in the MoMA, if the MoMA was deemed the lair between “my junk” and “the elements.” My shirts and pants can go through hell and high water, but the family jewels get a new home every morning, even if that home has the Superman logo on it. Besides, it’s not like I’m rolling around in dirt and vomit. How dirty could my clothes really be?

Above: my favorite underwear

Above: my favorite underwear

Just kidding. This is my favorite underwear. #teamUSA

Just kidding. This is my favorite pair of underwear. #teamUSA

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12 Days of Flogmas, Day Eleven: The laundry experience at Brown

Santa Bear Flogmas Laundry

I’m very grateful for laundry machines. I’m glad I don’t have to go out and break ice in the Providence River to wash my clothes. I can afford to have a machine do that for me. But that doesn’t mean laundry is a perfect experience.

Here’s how an ideal laundry load goes:

  1. Put laundry in washing machine. Add detergent. Start.
  2. Wait 34 minutes.
  3. Transfer laundry from washing machine to dryer. Clean the lint out from the screen — fun times! Add dryer sheets if you’re one of those people. Start.
  4. Wait an hour.
  5. ????????
  6. Profit.

Here’s how it usually happens at Brown: Continue Reading

Drunk/Sober/High: Freshman Laundry Night

Last Sunday, three brave freshman souls ventured into a deep, dark place: the laundry room of a Pembroke dormitory. One faced the challenge of drunken stupor, another was cast under the spell of an herbal tendency, and the third, and perhaps bravest soul of all, stood bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, intoxicated only by his anticipation for the night that lay ahead. Here is their story (unfortunately, it’s 100% true… literally, 100%).

**The peaks and nadirs of this blurry night were chronicled by a Spotify playlist crafted with love and affection. Click on the hyperlinks throughout the post to truly vibe with Drunk, Sober and High’s experience. Yes, we listened to a lot of Joni Mitchell.**

9:35 p.m.: Drunk, after taking two shots of unidentified water bottle alcohol alone, heads over to Sober’s room.

9:42 p.m.: Drunk sends High aggressive text messages…

 First aggressive text messages of the night9:48 p.m.: Sober pressures Drunk into a third shot. He reminds Drunk that by the end of the night, she is also expected to finish the five Blue Moons awaiting her in his fridge.

9:54 p.m.: Sober is overheard saying to Drunk, “On a scale from one to yakking, I want you to be at an eight.” Fourth shot is imbibed.

10:15 p.m.: High arrives unannounced, interrupting Sober and Drunk’s intense discussion of vintage sweatshirts.

10:18 p.m.: “I’m definitely vibing right now.” –High

10:22 p.m.: “I am a shameless encourager of their intoxication.” –Sober

10:26 p.m.: “We need to do laundry.” –Drunk

10:30 p.m.: Hi-Chew is currently a point of contention. High and Drunk will do whatever they can to get their hands on that mango-flavored goodness. Sober proclaims, “You must unlock the Hi-Chew via higher levels of intoxication.”

10:34 p.m.: Drunk mistakes Japanese eraser for Hi-Chew and begins to consume.

10:37 p.m.: Conversation ensues.

Drunk: “I’m nervous I’m going to make all of my whites pink.”

High: “I did that to other people’s laundry while sober the other day.” Continue Reading

(Campus)Lifehacker: LaundryView

It's like playing Sims with mystery-stained sheets

Guys. This changes everything.

Yes, now you can find free laundry machines from the comfort of your computer: LaundryView is the answer to our stained and sweaty prayers.

Long gone are the days of hauling loads of dirty clothing to the laundry room, only to find no free machines. No more reusing emergency socks for the fifth day. No more resorting to taking other people’s underwear out from the washing machines (and awkwardly discovering you have the same pair).

It gets better. All the different dorms are compiled in the landing page menu, and once in your building, you can mouse each machine (conveniently color-coded) to find out how much time it has left. Yeah, that’s right. You can pick your jaw off the floor now.

You still actually have to do your laundry though …

Frosh-cessities: Laundry day

It’s a whole new year, and it’s time for a whole new set of frosh-cessities. Don’t worry, Sam didn’t stay back a grade (we’re pretty sure that’s not even possible anymore). The BlogDH just found a new guinea pig staff writer to blunder through freshman year. So check in every other week or so as Jason attempts to figure out the dos, don’ts and DIYs for surviving dorm life at Brown.

Finding an empty washing machine on a weekend is rather hit-or-miss, just without the hit. Chances are, all the machines are running, and if one isn’t, some random jerk decided to use it as a drawer for wet clothes. It’s rather like a game show at times. What’s behind door number one—excessive amounts of Brown swag? A really cute sweater you’re tempted to steal? A set of sexy underwear that always awkwardly seems to be at the top of the pile?

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