12 Days of Spring Weekend Sextion: Gettin’ it on the Green


A big crowd is like a private room: no one will see you makin’ out in that mess.

The rules of Spring Weekend are that there are no rules, right? Wrong. While the hook up game may be different than a normal weekend on College Hill, there are a few “do’s and don’t’s” you should abide by.

DO: Make out on the Main Green. It’s truly the ultimate DFMO (MGMO?). While Hudson Mohawke will probably be the best concert for this, as it will probably have the most “clubby” atmosphere, feel free to go for it in the broad daylight of the Saturday concert. I personally feel this is a rite of passage, and something to check off your Brown bucket list. Who wants to leave college without being able to say, “remember that time I made out with [someone completely irrelevant] on the Main Green?!”

DON’T: Do anything more. No one wants to see you getting a blow job on the Main Green as Modest Mouse sings “Float On,” everyone’s favorite middle school jam. My eyes should not be subject to that without my consent, and I will provide you with the same courtesy. Save that for later. Speaking of which…

DON’T: Leave the concert early to go back to someone’s room. There are copious hours after the concert to hook up–don’t miss the main event, which lasts a total of two hours. If your partner doesn’t have a ticket, however, that is a different matter, and up to your discretion (I don’t recommend it though). You can have your own VIP after party later. If you’re single…

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