1,000 ways to die at Brown

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As morbid as it might be, there are plenty of ways to die at Brown. College is a dangerous place. Winter is a dangerous season. The new Campus Snapstory encourages students to do attention-grabbing things. The buildings are 200 years old. You never know what’s gonna happen, so you may as well be wary of the ways you might find your demise here on campus. Most are uncontrollable, but you may as well know, in case there’s any way to prepare for the danger that lies ahead.

1. Being smushed when the person in front of you on line for the Ratty neglects to hold the door open. Or being blown backwards, flying up, and getting smashed on the inside Ratty doors when those 1,000 mph winds are unleashed while trying to leave. (Basically, you’re screwed pre- and post-Cajun pasta.)

2. In something that looks like a scene from I Am Legend, you are climbing to the third floor in Health Services and the slanted spiral staircase, in slow motion, collapses beneath you.

3. Sledding down College Hill and making a grand entrance right into the below-freezing Providence River. We’re talking a deadly drowning/hypothermia combo.

4. On that note — being impaled by a six-foot dangling icicle.

5. A big disk (is that a light? a fan? a UFO?) that hangs from the Ratty ceiling falls and lands right on your head, creating something that looks like this:

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(And obviously you’ll just be sitting there, like, “Oh, bother.”)

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PC vaccinating everyone after second meningitis case

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Just as all that ebola fear-mongering is dying down, here’s something even closer to home: Providence College is offering a three-dose meningococcal vaccine after two students were diagnosed with meningitis this week. PC is advising business as usual otherwise, but Blog suggests that to be extra safe, you might put off your daily trip across town to campus.

Meanwhile, let’s take a minute and riff on this disturbing nugget from the ProJo story:

“The school is not mandating that its 3,800-plus students receive the vaccine, but health officials are urging students to do so in an effort to prevent an outbreak. ‘[Fine] believes it’s the most responsible course of action,’ said Steven J. Maurano, associate vice president at PC. ‘We’re hopeful that very few would opt out.’ On Sunday, 3,168 PC students came through the doors of the clinic; 3,060 were immunized and the other 108 opted out, according to the college’s public affairs office.”

WHAT?!? WHAT?!? WHY?!? Do you realize that you can die from meningitis? Like, really die? Like, college students actually die, and have died, and will in all probability die in the future, from meningitis? Do you realize that NOTHING BAD WILL HAPPEN TO YOU IF YOU GET THE VACCINE?

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