Drunk, Sober, High: Senior Night at Ale House

Drunk/Sober/High is a series started at New York University’s blog NYULocal. It sends a drunk person, a sober person, and a high person to all go enjoy (and endure) the same experience together. We love it, so we thought we’d give it a try. 

This is the story of three people, one drunk, one sober, and one high, and their quest to Senior Night at Ale House. One of them isn’t even an f***ing senior, but shut up, that’s not the point.

Why were they going to Ale House? For the free food that there certainly wouldn’t be enough of, or the existential crisis they were bound to have anyway this week? The exact answers to these questions are unknown, but perhaps you can determine it yourself, from the gripping account below.


Sober: Drunk and High weren’t ready to meet up until 10:15… They told me 9:45. I knew I shouldn’t offer to be sober – Sober is always the person who gets irritable the quickest. At least I can wear my cat-eye make up without immediately smudging it off in a drunken or drug induced stupor.

Drunk: Hey Sober, I like your lipstick. Where’d you get it, Hot Topic?

High: I’m afraid I’m not high enough.

 One minute later

High: Shit, I think I am too high I might have to go home.

Drunk: You are home – we haven’t left your dorm yet.

High: You’re right, you’re right I’m fine. Drunk should drink more though.

Sober: Agreed, but let’s go.

High: Actually, I don’t want to leave yet. Can we wait ten minutes?

Drunk: Well the event ends in thirty-five minutes

Sober: Oh shit. Guys let’s go.

En route to Ale house, they witness the largest gathering of the biker gang that any of them have seen. One of them does a wheelie while ripping down Thayer Street. Sober and Drunk want to blog about the motorcycle crew, but don’t know how to approach them for an interview. A decision is reached to write a blog post hypothesizing how one would communicate with the bikers. Keyword: Traffic cones.

High: Drunk, do you realize that Sober is writing down everything we say.

Drunk: Hey High, don’t censor yourself.

Sober: So Drunk claims that he drank peppermint schnapps, but High insists she saw him drink cranberry juice and vodka

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