Drunk/Sober/High: Fifty Shades of Grey

fifty shades of bear

*SPOILER ALERT: Fifty Shades of Grey pretty much sucks, no matter how intoxicated you are*

Also, this is our first ever virtual Drunk/Sober/High. The writers saw the movies in separate locations (due to the long weekend), but still, of course, remained faithful to their respective substance (or lack thereof). 

Before the show

D: I sort of failed at pre-gaming for this film, so my friend and I took a ¾ full handle of vodka into the movie theater. Somehow, despite sitting in the front row, we did not get booted out of the theater. We also didn’t boot. The latter might be more surprising.

S: I can’t believe I’m actually at a movie theater on Valentine’s Day waiting to watch Fifty Shades. Is this real life? I look around and the theater’s pretty empty; I get there about 15 minutes early, thinking that it’ll be packed because the hype was so real, but there are probably less than 20 people there, most of whom are couples who, I’d guess, have been married for at least ten years. I’m suddenly extremely paranoid–what if parents that I know show up? What if they’re already here? What if they see me? What if I see them? I glance down the aisle and notice one couple my age sitting a few rows up and I ask myself the following question: in what world would anyone ever see this movie as a date?

H: Upon arriving to the mall, we made a bee line to the food court, snuck Chinese Food combo dinners under our coats, and found our seats in the way back of the theater. I saw quite a few other Brown students there, and I tried calling their names to get their attention but apparently I was only whispering. We smoked again in the theater; we realized we had great neighbors when we heard, “get it girl” after my friend stifled a cough.

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Black History Month Film Series presents: Selma


In honor of Black History Month, the Center for the Study of Slavery and Justice and the Providence Public Library are hosting film series featuring a number of movies, including the Academy Award-nominated Selma, directed by Ava DuVernay. The film will be showing tomorrow at 6:00 p.m. at the Providence Public Library (150 Empire Street).

Selma tells the story of a key moment in the civil rights movement, the march from Selma to Montgomery, and chronicles Martin Luther King Jr.’s (played by Oscar-snubbed David Oyelowo) campaign to get the Voting Rights Act of 1965 passed.

The event is free and open to the public.

Image via.

What to do this week: January 26 – 31


Monday, January 26:

Event: A Beautiful Mind Screening
Location: Petteruti Lounge Time: 7:00 p.m.

The Psych DUG is co-hosting this screening; Russell Crowe stars as John Nash, the Nobel Laureate in Economics who suffered from paranoid schizophrenia.

Event: RISD Quickies present: Drones: Learning to Fly
Location: RISD Tap Room, 226 Benefit St
Time: 7 – 9:00 p.m.

RISD Quickies are RISD and Brown student led workshops. This one will feature a small introduction to drones and how to fly them, with an art portion of the class where you can use the drones to draw.

Wednesday, January 28:

Event: BlogDailyHerald Info Session!
Location: 195 Angell, Conference Room
Time: 6:00 p.m.

Enjoy reading Blog and want to be a part of it? Or maybe you just think you could do it better? Come to our info session to learn about the Blog family and how to apply; all the cool kids are doing it. Applications are due Wednesday, February 4th.

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New to Netflix: December 2014


Netflix has announced new movies and TV shows that will be making their streaming debut this December. As a way to look forward to lazy days indoors over winter break, or as a way to put off studying for finals a little bit longer, here is a list of all the titles coming to Netflix in the month of December 2014.


A Knight’s Tale (2001) (Dec. 1)
Inspired by Geoffrey Chaucer’s The Canterbury Tales, this medieval adventure film follows a peasant who is pretending to be a knight to compete in jousting tournaments. Rotten Tomatoes describes this as “Rocky on horseback.” *Dun… dun dun dun. Dun dun dun. Dun dun duuuuuuuun.* 

Almost Famous (2000) (Dec. 1)
Directed and written by Cameron Crowe, this comedy-drama film tells the coming-of-age story of a teenage Rolling Stone journalist following the fictitious 70s band Stillwater.

American Beauty (1999) (Dec. 1)
Suggested to be a satire of the American middle class ideals of beauty and satisfaction, this drama tells the story of office worker Lester Burnham, who falls into a midlife crisis, enamored by his daughter’s teenage friend.

Bewitched (2005) (Dec. 1)


Nicole Kidman and Will Ferrell in Bewitched (2005)

Based on the 1964-72 TV show of the same name, Bewitched stars Nicole Kidman and Will Ferrell. Ferrell plays Jack Wyatt, a struggling actor desperate for a role. Jack agrees to star in a film version of the TV series Bewitched (so meta). Nicole Kidman as Isabel Bigelow is cast as the female lead alongside Jack, playing the witch-turned-housewife Samantha. Nobody knows that Isabel is really a witch (OH BOY).

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BlogDH’s guide to Oscar season


November brings the promise of turkey, an upcoming winter, and lots of holiday sweaters. But, more importantly, it brings ***Oscar Season***. For those of you who are confused, Oscar season is distinctly different than awards season, which comes a bit later. Oscar season, or “good movie” season as I affectionately call it, is the beautiful time of the year in which Hollywood stops making endless superhero movies and sequels and instead opts for Academy bait and the like. You know what that means: intense thrillers, avant-garde filmmaking techniques, and Amy Adams. Below is a list of the movies that most people (critic-y people, anyways) have cited as having a shot at winning anything come January and February. Don’t worry, no one actually expects you to see all these movies, but knowing they exist will make you feel ~ahead of the game~ when your pretentious informed MCM friend talks about them.

Movies You Already Should’ve Seen

I’m not going to spend too much time on these because, as stated, you really should’ve already seen these movies. Whether you loved or hated Boyhood (did anyone hate this movie?), the movie directed by Richard Linklater promised audiences something they’d never seen before. Its revolutionary process of filming the same actors over an eleven year period had critics across the globe basically jizzing themselves. Love is Strange also got lots of critic love, but won’t be remembered like The Grand Budapest Hotel will. Can you believe Wes Anderson has never been nominated for Best Director at the Academy Awards? Not even for Moonrise Kingdom? Me neither. People think The Fault in our Stars may get nominated for things, which, I have to admit, would be pretty disappointing.

Movies You Can See Right Now

Skeleton Twins

What the New York Times called the “angsty” tweedledee and tweedledum, Bill Hader and Kristen Wiig remind you why they’re awesome and sort of/maybe leave you feeling a little bit sad. The screenplay won at Sundance, too, as if you needed more reasons to see this.

Gone Girl

I’m just going to put this out there: I love Ben Affleck. While I’ll admittedly call his acting so-so, it’s hard not to like a guy who can resurrect himself from the media catastrophe that was Bennifer. I’m not sure how much that can save him for his upcoming role as Batman, but in Gone Girl, it works. Plus, it seems like director David Fincher is capable of anything (or at the very least, snagging another Best Director nomination). Continue Reading

A Misanthrope’s Guide To The Movies: The Judge, Gone Girl, and Men, Women & Children

Fall break is gone, taking with it any and all fleeting excuses to pretend midterms don’t exist. Reality is back and it feels an awful lot like midnight cramming for a stats exam that you’re hard-pressed to care about. In the meantime, you’ll have to look elsewhere to find the enjoyment and excitement of life. For some of you, this may mean a virtual reality, for others, the hallowed halls of your local movie theatre. Or any movie theatre. Luckily, there happen to be several highly anticipated, star-studded films on the silver screen right now, and even luckier, I happened to have seen almost all of them. Here are the movies I saw over Fall Break (in between important dinners and being really popular), and how I felt about them:

Men, Women and Children


Men, Women & Children was the first movie I saw this weekend, and perhaps the one for which I had the highest hopes. Despite the bad reviews, I didn’t really believe that the man (Jason Reitman) who brought us JunoUp in the Air, and Thank You For Smoking could make a movie that was all that bad. [Ed.: Did you read the reviews for January’s Labor Day?] I was wrong. Men, Women & Children is possibly worse than all that bad. The movie features strange, overwrought narration from Emma Thompson, who is not an actual character in the movie and seems to think that she is back on the set of Love Actually and has switched roles with Hugh Grant. Her narration is set to images of the Challenger shuttle hurtling through space, which does precious little for the actual plot of the film except to remind us that even if we’re just small specks on Earth, irrelevant in the course of time and space, our life can’t possibly be any more pointless than is Men, Women, and Children.

Featuring a cast led by Adam Sandler (you know him from Blended fame), Jennifer Garner, Dean Norris (you actually know him as Hank from Breaking Bad), and Judy Greer, Men, Women & Children aims to tackle the dangerous role of technology in modern society and how it negatively impacts our relationships. Unfortunately, for a movie trying to uncover a societal truth with which we can all relate, very little of the movie feeels grounded in truth, and the characters and circumstances are wholly unrelatable. The teens don’t talk like teens, but rather caricatures of high schoolers ruined by the Internet and created by a middle-aged parent writing a script. The adults in the movie behave perhaps even less realistically. One mom sells illegal, risque pictures of her underage daughter online, her neighbors both engage in virtual, technology-driven affairs on a nightly basis, and the mom down the block treats the Internet like the devil incarnate and her daughter like an inmate.

All in all, I would obviously not recommend seeing Men, Women & Children, though if you need firsthand experience to confirm that the newest Reitman film is nowhere near Juno, I understand. But be warned, by the end of the movie you’ll be wishing Ellen Page and Michael Cera were there to save you.

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