Things our parents worry about way too much

scared paretns

For many of us, leaving home marked the start of our adult independence. Goodbye, curfews! Goodbye, babysitting our little siblings! And hello… regular phone calls checking if we’ve been brushing our teeth regularly?

Alright, so leaving home didn’t mean a complete departure from our parents for many of us. Of course, that’s not a bad thing! It’s nice knowing that they still care for us, even though that time they sold most of our stuff at the yard sale suggests otherwise—you’ll never even use that Hello Kitty stationary again, darling. Their phone calls and texts remind us that no matter how old we are, we will always be their little girl or boy.

However, there are things that seem to stress out our parents much more than they should. Below are a few topics that always make their way into our phone calls and Skype conversations with them (and Facebook wall postings, for you unlucky ones).

Our vitamin intake

vits

Even if you weren’t a regular vitamin-taker back home, your parents will expect you to stock up on One A Day and Vitamin-C powder packs for the semester. It’s as if coming to college automatically meant disregarding our health. There may or may not be some truth to this, but the point is that vitamins aren’t necessarily a cure-all to begin with. And really, as long as we’re eating a balanced meal (whoops), there is no need to pop these supplements like Tic Tacs. Different parents also seem to have different vitamin fixations. My mom is especially concerned with my fiber intake, and makes sure to send me a Costco-size box of Fiber One granola bars whenever I receive a care package. Three cheers for digestive health!

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It has begun.

10288748_10151936402575834_8432428213777575318_nSpotted in the stacks. Enjoy!

 


It’s here.

naked-doughnut


New traditions Brown definitely needs

9ar_052513_jmaciel_0668-copy

Brown, like many other schools, cherishes its long-established traditions and encourages everyone to participate and be merry together. Just look at Spring Weekend: hundreds will participate in the numerous events and later join in solidarity as they collectively get slammed with raging hangovers. Traditions give a school character and bolster school spirit, as bizarre and morally questionable as they may be. Don’t get me wrong—I am extremely fond of the already existing traditions at Brown. I enjoy my nude pastry providers as much as the next guy, but it may be time for a little something new. Or you know, we could simply alter the ones that are already in place just a teeny bit. Don’t want to upset the reactionaries.

Naked Cronut Run

Honestly, I believe the NDR embodies the essence of the Brown community and to abolish it would be to deny a key aspect of our Brunonian experience. But, times they are a-changin’ my friend, and the delivered goods need a facelift.

Don't you want me, baby?

Don’t you want me, baby?

Allow me to propose a Naked Cronut Run. These little bundles of fried joy are the paradigm of culinary perfection. Donuts are tasty and all, but hell, does the American dream tell us to conform? No. It urges us to strive for the best in life, and cronuts are just that. They are more expensive than their plebeian counterparts, but fundraisers throughout the year are always an option. Or, we can offer both donuts and cronuts during the NCR (?), but students would have to pay extra at the time of the offer if they desire the latter. The transaction would have to be conducted carefully to prevent a strip club feel. Continue Reading


ZOMG NDR

naked doughnut

The libraries don’t get that censored rectangle tonight.


It’s here.