Sextion: Bachelor(ette) pad must-haves

Hookup: “No way, you love Nickelback too??”

Before you know it, you and Hookup are on top of each other. Your hand on the back of their neck. Their hand running through your luscious head of hair. Both of you thinking you’re the master of seduction (keep telling yourself that). You whisper, “Let’s go back to my place,” because that’s what TV and movies have told you to do, and the two of you begin your stumbling, wobbly journey across campus to the overflowing landfill that is your dorm room.

Things are going smoothly until you remember that you didn’t expect making it this far.

Shit.

Don’t be unprepared, be ready. Here’s our must-have supplies list for hooking up in your bachelor(ette) pad:

The basics:

  • Spare toothbrush: Hookup’s had a wild day. From Andrews Commons’ breakfast burrito to mystery hooch, their breath probably isn’t doing so hot. Be their knight in shining armor and hand them one of your toothbrushes lying around (not the one you use to scrub toilets with). While you’re at it, hit them up with some floss, and you’re practically their dentist.
  • Baby wipes: Time is money, they say. Well in this case, time is what both of you don’t have to take a shower and clean yourselves before passing out. Grab a couple of wipes, rub off that stank of the day from your armpits and groin, and you’ll both be as fresh as Will Smith from that one show in west Philadelphia.

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