We rewrote Bound 2 in honor of Jesse Watters

Jesse and us

Jesse Watters has returned from the depths of the abyss that is FOX News’s New York office to comment alongside Bill “Falafel” O’Reilly on the cancellation of the “giant sex party” that is SexPowerGod. Speculating about why the party was called off, Papa Bear Bill insisted that the decision came from the administration, while Jesse correctly (Ed. I can’t believe he actually corrected the boss-man) pointed out that the University did not shut the party down.

Watters, who is THIRTY-SIX YEARS OLD and still trying to make a career out of alternately hitting on and making fun of college students, chalked the cancellation up to SPG having gotten “a little nasty.” Poor word choice when describing alleged sexual assaults and ER visits that stemmed from the party. Since we don’t want to dignify the clip too much by embedding it in this post, you can watch it here.

O’Reilly jokes on the new segment that Jesse needs to come back because the Brown student populace misses him, but it seems that Jesse misses us. The man has visited us annually for the past three years!

Between drinking games and hard-hitting interviews, BlogDH had almost exhausted our arsenal of potential responses to this guy’s creepy, childish shit. Key word: almost. One thing we hadn’t done is rewrite an infamous Kanye West song to make it applicable to our perverse, long distance love affair with Jesse Watters (a la Seth Rogen and James Franco).

Well, now we (read: Caitlin Dorman ’16) have done that, and it wasn’t too difficult of an adaptation. In fact, there is so much romantic tension between Jesse Watters and us that the most difficult part of the whole process was blending the skin tones of Jesse’s face with Kim Kardashian’s neck.

Jesse, baby, we hope you like it:

Bound 2 (Be on FOX News)

Bound to be on Fox News

Bound to be on Fox News (uh huh Jesse)

 

All the other schools lame and you know it now

When a real school parties, you supposed to frown

 

Bound to be on Fox News

Bound to be on Fox News (uh huh Jesse)

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A reflection on nude body painting

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It was the kind of thing that I wanted to do alone, but needed a push in order to get there, alone.

Then again, I should probably ask myself: how alone did I expect to feel surrounded by fifty naked bodies?

Nudity in the Upspace was exactly how it describes itself, and that was the most surprising part of it all. It was nudity, and it was in the Upspace, and that was that. When I entered the room, there wasn’t a red carpet. There wasn’t a naked phe waiting on their knees to remind me how beautiful my shoulders were. There were no pamphlets, no introductions, and no emptiness. There were people, and they were naked, and there was paint on their hands and arms, and down their backs. That was, essentially, it.

The first things that hit me were the bodies and the smell. Everyone stood so nonchalantly that you might’ve thought they were wearing invisible clothing. You don’t realize that you’ve never seen dozens of naked bodies in a room at once before until you see dozens of naked bodies in a room at once. That sounds a lot more obvious than it feels. The air was kind of tangy, like body odor mixed with body odor. It’s just a smell, and we all know what it is. It’s like the way sex leaves itself behind in a bedroom.

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Nudity in the Upspace: An interview with the new coordinators

It’s that time of year again–Nudity in the Upspace time. Coming off a wildly successful 2013 iteration, despite its fair share of controversy and Fox News coverage (are they synonymous?) that included an always welcome visit from Jesse Watters, new Nudity in the Upspace coordinators Cherise Morris ’16 and Sam Keamy-Minor ’16 sat down with Blog to talk changes to the week, staying true to its roots, and expanding Nudity’s presence and types of participants on campus.

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BlogDH: What does Nudity in the Upspace mean to you?

Sam: For me, personally–and I think any one of these answers is going to be incredibly personal–Nudity in the Upspace is a space where people can be radically honest about a lot of the issues that we as Brown students discuss in sometimes frustratingly veiled terms. Things like body positivity, body acceptance, body disability, race, gender expression. These are all conversations that we’re used to as Brown students and I think Nudity in the Upspace provides this new forum to explore them in a much more honest way.

Additionally, being involved in events of public nudity (Naked Donut Run, Nudity in the Upspace) has really helped me come to terms with a lot of the aspects of my identity both connected to the way I look but also connected to other things. My queer identity, my male identity and how I perform my gender.

Cherise: Looking back at myself as an involved member last year, I do think it took me some time to get my feet wet. I was able to take my time. And I think that’s one of the really important missions of the week. We’re not just saying, “Oh, nudity should be normalized and you should be comfortable!” Because that’s a really hard thing to do. The week gives people all these opportunities to take their time and feel out what the experience is going to mean to them. Creating that system of dialogue is something that we often aren’t able to do as students, especially in a classroom setting when we are discussing these issues. We know what we are supposed to get out of it and what we should put into it. Even as coordinators we kind of don’t really know how everything is going to pan out. That spontaneity that accompanies the honesty is really important.

BlogDH: What are some differences in Nudity in the Upspace this year?

Cherise: One new thing we’re doing this year is partnering with Bluestockings to release a Nudity: Bodies in Context zine at the devised piece. We went to Bluestockings with this idea because we wanted to engage different audiences. There is this stigma around the event–you have to be naked and you have to be okay with being naked to have these opinions and to discuss these issues. You don’t have to do that. We wanted to engage people who wouldn’t even be comfortable showing up to the event. Expanding that range of voices is something we’re looking for this year, especially in light of all the controversy last year.

Sam: When you have a week where so much of it is exploring identity–whether it’s the identity we wear in our bodies or the identity that we construct external to our bodies–the fact that Cherise and I have very different identities [is important]. I’m the first male-bodied phe coordinating. Me and Cherise are both queer.

Cherise: We do want to respect the goals that Becca and Camilla set out as the event’s founders but inevitably, it’s taking a different form. This year we did different things with the space physically. We have a whole back wall that we are going to be performing in front of that is [covered] by attendee’s drawings. It’s a huge mural with all these different voices and input on it.

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ICYMI: Nuditygate is over!

http://youtu.be/pD6qYEwcH8w

Infamous ambush reporter and SexPowerGod attendee Jesse Watters aired his much-anticipated segment on Nudity in the Upspace last night. And the verdict is in…

Not that bad.

Sure, it was classic Jesse Watters journalism. He snarkily edited footage from irrelevant movies in between student interviews. He made fun of students for using phrases like “gender performativity.” (I don’t know what that means, either.) He made one too many dick jokes: “Was your nude scene really small?” “No, it was significant.” Watters STILL referred to the events as “Nudity Week.”

But at the end of the segment, O’Reilly concluded that Nudity in the Upspace was “harmless.” Watters mentioned BlogDH’s Drinking Game (!!!!!) said Brown students were “very articulate and respectful.”

Plus, he took the time to boost one young girl’s self-esteem and body image. Thanks, Jesse. I slept a lot better last night.

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Staying afloat in ‘Watters’ World’: A drinking game

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Jesse Watters‘ segment on Nudity in the Upspace will air on the The O’Reilly Factor tonight at 8 p.m. Interesting that he’d choose to air the piece on Wednesday night; the man who admitted he’d do nude yoga naturally knows that Brown students would structure their Whisko pregame plans around the watching the long-awaited ‘Watters’ World’ segment. Accordingly, we created a drinking game (below) to help you maximize your Watters-watching experience. If you’re under 21, play an eating game…? Laundry game? We don’t know; just make your own fun.

A warning to those of you playing who are 21 and older: you’re probably going to get very drunk, because all of the things below are definitely going to happen throughout the segment. Continue Reading


Watters to discuss Nudity in the Upspace on ‘The Factor’ sooner than expected

In a cryptic tweet to BlogDH, Jesse Watters disclosed that he will be filling in for Greg Gutfeld tonight on The O’Reilly Factor.

While we don’t really know who Greg Gutfeld is, we know one thing’s for certain: Watters is bringing up ‘Nudity in the Upspace‘ on the air sooner than he had planned to. However, we’re not entirely sure if the segment is airing tonight— we’re still waiting for word from Watters, since we are best Twitter friends now. This past Wednesday, he informed BlogDH that the segment he filmed on campus would air the following Wednesday.

Is Watters buckling under the weight of a Brunonian backlash? Perhaps. We’ll just have to tune in to Fox News tonight at 8 p.m. to find out. Stay tuned for more updates from BlogDH throughout the day— we’re your number-one source for all that’s going on in Watters’ World.