Monday, December 7
Event: become a human burrito because life is hard and winter is cold
Location: Your bed
Time: 3:00 p.m.
“Life eats away your soul eventually so you might as well taste good”
Wednesday, December 9
Event: eat a whole package of Oreos by yourself in one sitting
Time: 11:00 a.m.
See you there!!!!
Thursday, December 10
Event: Not bothering to put on pants every morning because you’re not that important
Location: Your bedroom
Time: 2:00 a.m.
“Sometimes I put my pants on one leg at a time just like you…other times I don’t even get out of bed.”
Drunk/Sober/High is a series started at New York University’s blog NYULocal. It sends a drunk person, a sober person, and a high person to all go enjoy (and endure) the same experience together. We love it, so we thought we’d give it a try.
One staff member (High) had the brilliant idea to organize a Star Wars viewing party (not specific, we know) with other staff members who, like her, had never seen any of the Star Wars movies. High was inspired to organize this event due to the impending release of Star Wars: The Force Awakens (Drunk didn’t realize this key detail until the middle of the evening — more on this later). Here’s what went down:
Pre-Gaming the event
Drunk: After six episodes of Master of None and a 30-minute shower featuring exclusively Missy Elliot, I was ready to go. Nowhere. My friends were coming to my house. Sober rolled up first. In honor of a networking function we both attended last Friday (read: not a networking function) where we had way too much white wine, I brought out a bottle of Pinot Gris and prepared to get wine-drunk SWUG style. High showed up shortly after and we migrated outdoors to accompany her while she smoked. After chilling outside for 30ish minutes sans shoes, I learned that 1) my feet get cold very easily and 2) WE WERE WATCHING STAR WARS BECAUSE A NEW MOVIE WAS COMING OUT.
Sober: I was the first to arrive at Drunk’s house, so I ended up pre-gaming the movie by trying to figure out technology a.k.a. doing the most hyper-sobering thing I could possibly do. Drunk and I spent about 15 minutes trying to turn on the TV and set up Chromecast, both to varying degrees of success, while leaving somewhat unacknowledged the more serious issue of where to find a copy of Star Wars. Luckily, High showed up just in time to [smoke and] somehow get us set up. While this was all happening, a fan came by for a photo-op because apparently we’re famous? (Of course we’re famous. Bow down.) It was a lot to take in. Also notable: I brought myself some Pringles and a pack of Double-Stuf Oreos (shoutout to the Jo’s mini-mart in all of its grossly-overpriced beauty), so my movie munchie game was strong AF.
High: I reprised my role as High during a movie by smoking on Drunk’s porch. Shout out to Sober and Drunk for hanging out in the cold with me like true homies. At some point while contemplating how odd it is to smoke without partaking in the proverbial passing of the bowl, my BOLT leader appeared. We talked to her for too long before explaining our varying degrees of sobriety. When she found out we what we were doing, she was so excited to see D/S/H in action that she took our picture. I remember posing for that photo… I don’t remember what my pose was. I should really ask for that photo. After smoking and hacking into the mainframe to find the movie, we were off to the star-races.