Frosh-cessities: Calling your parents, guardians, and loved ones


Many of you use your cell phones for Facebook, texting, and essentially connecting with people you care about. Often times, though, you’ll forget to connect with the people who are the reason you’re here reading this article now: your folks back home. Here’s Blog’s guide to calling your loved ones.

The occasion: Aced a test? Entered a relationship? Tried the breakfast burrito at Andrews? Whenever you experience a moment of bliss, big or small, don’t be shy to report back home. You have no idea how overjoyed they will be to live through it with you. When you applied to Brown, they were just as stressed out as you were. Then, when you got in, they were just as friggin’ happy as you were, screaming, jumping, and running around the neighborhood. On the flip-side, if you bombed that one midterm, called it quits with that kid down the hall, or bit into a moldy apple from the Ratty, don’t be afraid to share those moments either. Obviously, some parents will be more receptive or sensitive to certain issues, so gauge yours and determine what topics are discussible and which are verboten.

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Family Weekend: What we’re afraid of

Portrait of Happy Family Piled Up In Park

The storm is almost here. A hurricane of pinched cheeks and forehead kisses is descending on Brown University as we speak. Parents descend on campus this weekend, and we hope you’re all prepared.

Family Weekend is a beautiful time on campus, when many people are reunited with their beloved birthgivers. But it’s stressful, too. The sudden appearance of your 50-year-old guardian(s) back in your life is often a great reason to stash that bong beneath your bed or delete the texts from that cute guy you met at Jo’s. Why? Because we don’t want our parents finding out about all the random crap we’ve been up to. But we don’t all react in the same way. Some people will delete those texts and leave the bong out, while others will do the opposite. This raises the question: What things are Brown students really afraid of their parents discovering over Parents’ Weekend? This Blog reporter asked 100 random Brown students, and the results are below:

“What are you most afraid of your parents finding out about over Parents’ Weekend?”


Alcohol Use: 19 students out of 100
This isn’t really that surprising. We’re college students and we love to party, but our beloved parents (and BroPo) aren’t typically on board if we’re underage. Expect to see a lot of people frantically hiding handles of vodka Friday afternoon.

Drug Use: 17 students
Alcohol use’s more-relaxed [Ed’s note: But less legal] friend. Drug use, especially marijuana, is pretty common on Brown’s campus, and parents typically aren’t chill with it unless they smoke themselves.

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Brown tours re-visited, sort of

So the original idea for this post was to go on a tour, as a current member of the Brown community, and blog about it. Easy. That is until I fucked it up… twice.


First Mistake: I never actually took a Brown tour when I applied. I was recruited for handball so I just told the coach my stats and sent him my mugshot and I was accepted overnight. Easy peasy lemon squeezy. For this article to actually work, I would have to compare my tour experiences from when was a I perspective student to my experience as a current student. To be honest, I completely forgot I never even toured in the first place, until I started on the tour and thought, “wow what an insightful yet unfamiliar experience.”  Then I remembered that when I visited campus with my dad we ended up skipping the tour to eat Nice Slice. Oh, how things haven’t changed.

Second Mistake: This is less of a mistake and more of a weird, humiliating public experience. I snuck my way onto the tour, unbeknownst to anyone that I was an enrolled student, and was en route to a hard hitting, enthralling, and emotionally charged blog post. As I stood there, scrambling notes on all I observed, someone bumped into me from behind and screamed, “Oh shit! You broke my fucking headphones.” The group of 30 prospective students, their helicopter parents, and the three lovely tour guides all turned and looked at me. Confused, I swung around and saw a 12 year old kid and his friends all staring in shock at a now ripped in half pair of Beats headphones.

Quick recap: everyone’s attention is now on me, the creepy and mediocre blogger taking notes, and there is a visibly angry and upset teen, his group of friends, and an allegedly broken pair of neon-green Beats.

The guides managed to start their tour, but the gaggle of friends still lingered. I could feel their angry, pre-pubsencent stares on the back of my neck. “Hey dude, you broke my headphones,” and “What the hell, you ruined my Beats” was yelled at me, but I just kept trying to pay attention and follow the tour.

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Things our parents worry about way too much

scared paretns

For many of us, leaving home marked the start of our adult independence. Goodbye, curfews! Goodbye, babysitting our little siblings! And hello… regular phone calls checking if we’ve been brushing our teeth regularly?

Alright, so leaving home didn’t mean a complete departure from our parents for many of us. Of course, that’s not a bad thing! It’s nice knowing that they still care for us, even though that time they sold most of our stuff at the yard sale suggests otherwise—you’ll never even use that Hello Kitty stationary again, darling. Their phone calls and texts remind us that no matter how old we are, we will always be their little girl or boy.

However, there are things that seem to stress out our parents much more than they should. Below are a few topics that always make their way into our phone calls and Skype conversations with them (and Facebook wall postings, for you unlucky ones).

Our vitamin intake


Even if you weren’t a regular vitamin-taker back home, your parents will expect you to stock up on One A Day and Vitamin-C powder packs for the semester. It’s as if coming to college automatically meant disregarding our health. There may or may not be some truth to this, but the point is that vitamins aren’t necessarily a cure-all to begin with. And really, as long as we’re eating a balanced meal (whoops), there is no need to pop these supplements like Tic Tacs. Different parents also seem to have different vitamin fixations. My mom is especially concerned with my fiber intake, and makes sure to send me a Costco-size box of Fiber One granola bars whenever I receive a care package. Three cheers for digestive health!

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Texts from Ma and Pa


Well, we did it. Parents Weekend is behind us and everything is looking a little duller. The sky is grayer, the clothes you shoved in your closet are spilling out, and the Ratty’s “Grilled” “Italian” “Chicken” is tasteless compared to Al Forno.

While Parents Weekend does get everyone riled up for some TLC, by the end, you’re wondering how you lasted eighteen years at home. Now that it’s over, we can go back to communicating with our parents the old-fashioned way: text messaging.

This weekend was the one time you were spared of the incessant stream of texts from your parents “just checking in.” Just so you’re not surprised, we thought we’d take a moment to remind you of the texts you’ll get on your iPhone 4 from your mom’s iPhone 6 this week. (Disclaimer: We love our parents very, very much. Love you Bob, Rob, Tamsin and Michele!)

  1. Inspiring

Screen shot 2014-10-26 at 12.57.32 PM

These texts will always cheer you up! They get particularly exciting once your parents discover emojis. (Disclaimer: I am the only daughter, so don’t get too excited.)

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A comprehensive guide to Family Weekend 2014


Parents outside of their natural habitat.

With midterms and destructive squirrels taking up most of our energy, it’s hard to think ahead to this weekend when Brunonia will be alive with parents and families. While some of us may be primarily focused on getting our ‘rents to cover our many expenses, others may be worried about what the hell they’re supposed to do with a bunch of parents on a college campus. Never fear! There’s no need to spend actual quality time with your parents, for Brown’s clubs and activities have come together to give us a weekend packed with sporting events, brunches, and cleverly named concerts (I’m looking at you, a cappella) to drag your families to. Check our comprehensive list of every single thing you can do with your family this weekend.

Friday, October 24

4:00 p.m. Center for the Study of Slavery and Justice Building Dedication & Opening and Black Experiences at Brown: A Visual Narrative Exhibition Opening Reception, 94 Waterman Street 

Visit the new home of the Center for the Study of Slavery and Justice. Address by the one and only president emerita Ruth J. Simmons.

6:00 p.m. PW presents 3C2C (3 Chairs, 2 Cubes)

A festival of new plays in the PW Downspace

6:30 p.m. Musical Forum’s Family Weekend Revue, Alumnae Hall Crystal Room

Join Musical Forum as in their annual Family Weekend Revue, featuring songs from hit musicals and movies.

7:30 p.m. Brown Madrigal Singers Family Weekend Concert

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