Your First Night out after Midterms

 

8:00 p.m.: You’re getting ready; you’re pumped, you deserve this. You’ve had a long week, you’ve spent countless hours in the SciLi… So what if you blackout and wake up at 2 p.m tomorrow? The memories you don’t remember will be totally worth it.

9:00 p.m.: You start texting your friends, trying to figure out who’s up for the 24-hour rager you’re envisioning. “Sorry, I’m studying for exams next week :/” and “I don’t know… I’m pretty busy with work.” F@ck. After texting eight other people, you reach out to your freshman-year roommate that you talk to occasionally. They’re down.

10:00 p.m.: You find yourself at a dorm party. It seems like it might be a birthday, but you don’t know the host. Somehow, it was much more glorious when you were envisioning it a few hours ago. Kind of cramped and hot, when you think about it. At least the lecture hall had ventilation, you find yourself thinking. Wait. Why the f#ck are you comparing this party to your exam?  

11:00 p.m.: After a few drinks and a new location, you’re finally starting to have a good time. The white-girl-decor swirls together. Kind of looks like a bunch of hexagons. Hexagons. Where have you seen those before… A chill runs down your spine. You start thinking about the cyclical carbon chains on your organic chemistry midterm. Snap out of it, you think to yourself. It’s over, you don’t have to worry anymore. You’re enjoying rum-and-coke out of a red solo cup, you’re the epitome of relaxation. But… is it over? Did the professor schedule another midterm within the last two days? Maybe you should just check Canvas to make sure. You barely resist. Your thumb twitches

12:00 p.m.: You notice the cute girl from section standing to the side. Intoxicated, you decide to shoot your shot. You walk up to her, ready to deliver your smoothest one liner. “What… how did you think the exam went?” you hear yourself slur. F#ck! Can you relate to people on any level besides academic?! Why did you think that would be a good opener?? This isn’t freshman year anymore, that shit doesn’t slide. “I think it was okay, haha,” she says. You’re too drunk to discern if it’s a genuine smile or not (spoiler: it’s not). She moves towards her friends.

1:00 a.m.: Normally, this is when your night would start, but after a week of surviving on three hours of sleep a night, you’re ready to turn in. You turn to say goodbye to your old roommate, but you lost them a few parties ago. Damn. You start the trek home.  

11:00 a.m: You wake up, groggy, dry-mouthed, and with a headache. You haven’t felt this shitty in the last two weeks, you think happily. You try to keep your exam-paper-flashbacks at bay. Finally, the freedom to get f*cked up.

 


The Evolution of Halloween

There aren’t a lot of things that last from birth and through college. We don’t still get tucked in at night by our parents, have home cooked meals, swim in the shallow end, or brush our teeth twice a day (I’m not alone on this right?), but we still get excited for Halloween. Sure, the goal of Halloween changes from childhood to college. No longer is it about who can get the most candy but rather it is about who can GET the most candy (see what i did there). Instead of eating Twix and Snickers till we get sick, we drink Caldwell’s and Natty till we get sick. We still wear costumes, yet instead of dressing like our favorite disney character, we now dress like our favorite sexy disney character (I am going as Olaf from Frozen this year FYI).

Slutty Olaf

So maybe not all that much has changed, and that is fine because, like my uncle from South Carolina, I am scared of change. But Halloween for sure has evolved, from our earliest days of getting dressed in adorable baby-propriate costumes, to that time we went as sexy Shia Leboeuf.

baby taco

Shia

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A beginner’s guide to throwing a party

Recently, my housemates and I undertook a big project: throwing our first party. We are not members of a fraternity, none of us are on any teams (Blog is a sport), nor do we have some greater social purpose for living together (like farming or whatever it is that co-ops do). We’re just some humans that wanted to have about 100 people we know and kinda like over to our house to drink and chat and stuff. Ambitious, I know!

I’ve been at Brown for a few years and attended many a party, but there is so much to learn by being the host yourself. After all, you’re at the same event from its commencement to its bitter end. Who even knows what happens at a party in that first techincally-its-started-but-not-actually hour?!

Read on for a gripping portrait of what happens when you invite many college students over to your home for a couple hours, having purchased a copious amount of cheap alcohol.

Before the party 

The first thing you learn when you want to throw a party is that it’s hard to decide when to throw a party. When you first move in to your house, someone will say every few hours, “We could have such a good party here!” As the days and weeks go on, once in a while people will make a comment like “When we have our party, we should have pitchers of fun drinks! Maybe homemade sangria!” or, if you get mad at someone “Well, she’s certainly not going to be invited to the Facebook event for our party.” None of these off-hand comments will prove relevant to your actual party, but they are good for keeping the ‘party concept’ on everyone’s mind.

Weeks will go by, and you will not have your party. There will be other big events on campus, midterms in your classes, and a general insecurity festering that you aren’t good enough to throw a party. But then, one Tuesday or Wednesday, you will realize: Hey! I know of nothing going on this weekend. We should have a party! This is the first step in an uphill battle of getting the attention of everyone you live with, convincing them to have a party, getting frustrated about everyone’s lack of commitment, becoming hesitant about the party, being re-convinced by your housemate who now wants to have the party, and finally, everyone agreeing that you all are going to have a party.

Deciding how to invite people is another difficult step. Are you trying to throw a “casual” party, where you text people a brief, cool invite the  morning of, hoping word of mouth will do the trick? Do you go alt and email people? If so, is everyone cc’ed or bcc’ed? A Facebook event seems most efficient, but then do you make it private or can guests’ friends see? Decisions, decisions. Whatever you decide, it will not go exactly according to plan. You don’t have all that much control over who ends up coming.

Then, it’s time to purchase alcohol, potentially buy decorations, and move some furniture around. Our layout consisted of a “dance floor room” (an empty room), a “hang out room” (the room with the couch), a “bar area” (the kitchen has a fridge), and a “smoking area” (we have a porch).

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Songs that you hear at every Brown party

leodancing

When you go to parties on campus, you may notice certain trends. For one, there’s always that freshmen couple voraciously going at it on the couch (they probably met through Brown Hookups– good for them). There’s also that person trying too hard to be the life of the party by yelling “Yeah!” or “Wooo!” and making other throaty sounds that make us slightly uncomfortable. By now, you may have also realized that there are specific songs that are played at every party you attend, no matter what. Here is a guide to understanding Brown’s favorite party music!

Turn Down for What- Lil Jon

turn down for what

Mood: Zzjsbfsdafalg

Lil Jon has done it again! This is the “Get Low” of the modern age. Have no doubt that once this song starts playing, people will go apeshit, so it may be wise to seek cover; beer will spill, and heads will roll (jk). Everyone in the room will suddenly become the grimiest versions of themselves, all the while wondering what the hell the lyrics actually mean. Hmm, is this possible MCM thesis material? You take a mental note.

Ignition (Remix)- R. Kelly

bounce bounce

Mood: It’s a Wednesday night, baby, and I’m alive!

Brunonia’s fixation with this song still puzzles me. Maybe it’s just that funky beat that makes us want to get jiggy with it. Or, maybe it’s because we have a spiritual connection with R. Kelly (eek?). I mean, it is the freaking weekend, and I AM about to have me some fun! Whoa, it’s like he gets us, you know? I once saw a boy start tearing up the moment this song began to play during a Spring Weekend party, and to this day, I still wonder if he’s doing alright.

Anaconda- Nicki Minaj

twerk

Mood: Dear flat ass, don’t fail me now!

This song allegedly spurred the “big booty” movement… I’ll let you know when I figure out exactly what this entails. Anyway, this song will have everyone werkin’ and twerkin’, and all other variations of ‘erkin. It will put you in touch with your inner Nicki Minaj, so definitely proceed with caution. Also, you may find yourself popping your booty in ways you did not think possible, so make sure to have some Icy Hot back patches for the morning after.

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SNL’s Stefon’s guide to freshman parties

Who is Stefon?

Stefon, played by Bill Hader, is a reoccurring guest from the Weekend Update portion of SNL He is a sharp diva, with a dark edge, and hilariously quirky side. He is plugged into (what he thinks are) the best parties in NYC. His plans are odd, unique and always out there. If you do not know him already, watch the video below to get a glimpse of the genius of Stefon, or watch the video below because you love him already. Why aren’t you watching this already? If Stefon were to describe the freshmen party scene at Brown, this is what we think he’d say:

Stefon Final

Brown’s hottest party is…Metcalf 2nd floor lounge. If you and your friends are looking for an unsanctioned, rowdy time, hit up the lounge. To get in just say the password: your SAT score. The party starts at 8:45 and gets shut down at 9:15 by DPS. Don’t worry, just get there early. There is watered down Vodka, beers someone stole from their dad, and some oregano that someone is pretending is weed. Show up fashionably early, and leave fashionably…early?

babies and beer

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Anatomy of a naked party

My Saturday night.

My Saturday night.

Many people outside of College Hill think that Brown students run around naked all of the time. Jesse Watters’ sensationalized coverage of PW’s Nudity in the Upspace didn’t quite help with this image either. The reality, however, is that the majority of Brown students have never participated in a naked event. Nudity on campus (that is beyond the dormitory showers) is somewhat like a secret society—the Naked Donut Run itself is a very selective and exclusive underground network. Given the low chances of successfully infiltrating the NDR, your best shot of putting your birthday suit on display is to attend a naked party.

Naked parties are not the easiest things to find. You get invited via email a few days beforehand and word doesn’t spread as far as you might think. Although there is not a list at the door, you’ve basically got to be within two degrees of separation to end up at one of these things. Many Brunonians wait until the end of their senior year to hit up a naked party. We at BlogDH figured that a bunch of you are curious about what it’s like, or want to know what you may get yourself into. Surely you have wondered at some point, what would the world be like if nobody wore clothes.  Well, as the sacrificial lamb, I found out what a college house party would be like if no one wore clothing. I am honored to present: Anatomy of a Naked Party (We like to make jokes here at BlogDH).

I was initially nervous that I would have to make my way to the party wearing nothing but my skin. One of the preliminary emails gave me relief by instructing that there would be a changing room and that I should bring a bag for my clothes. I decided not to do any out of the ordinary—my idea was that if I’m going to be naked, I might as well look like my usual self.

There were stringent rules for this naked party:

– There were no cameras allowed in the space, for obvious reasons.

– It was frowned upon to show up extremely intoxicated, particularly considering the whole bare feet and vomit conundrum.

– It was explicitly stated in the party invitation that any kind of touching, sexual or not, must be consensual.

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