The 10 events you can’t miss from this weekend’s Brown 250th kickoff celebrations

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In case you’ve been living under a rock and haven’t seen the gigantic crane operating in front of University Hall, Brown is kicking off its celebration of its 250th year this weekend. The University has set up a ton — well, a quarter ton in some cases, but more on that later — of programming. Way too much for a hung over busy Brown student to get to, so we’ve boiled down this absurd brochure of events into a nice top 10 to guide you through the weekend, presented in (mostly) chronological order:

1.  Jim Kim ’82’s keynote address. The current president of the World Bank and former president of Dartmouth should have plenty of wisdom to drop on us. 2:30-3:50 p.m. in Salomon 101. Tickets are sold out, but you can still watch on a live stream. Worst case scenario, we get this:

2. “The Brown Difference” premiere. This film, directed by Oren Jacoby ’77, P’17 and Betsy West ’73, P’17, will probably be about how Brown is different from other schools. Look for mentions of student activism, and open curriculum, and naked people carrying donuts. Hopefully it doesn’t stray into these obnoxious stereotypes. Curtains up at 5 p.m. in Sayles.

3. Cake. I don’t know how to explain this so I’m just going to come out with it: There is a 600 pound cake in the shape of University Hall coming at us. It’s 3 feet high and 5 feet wide. My God. The cake cutting will take place on the Faunce steps at 6:30 p.m. Friday night.

4. Fireworks. Students in Hope and Slater have been asked to ditch their dorms for the event. We don’t know what exactly is in store, but that leads us to believe that whatever it is is going to be REAL. The fireworks are part of the same extravaganza as the cake, at 6:30 p.m. on the Faunce steps.

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