(Facebook) relationships are hard, and breakups are harder

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Facebook is testing a new feature, which supposedly allows you to “manage your interactions with your ex.” What does that mean? Among other things, you can control how often you see your old flame in your newsfeed, message bars and suggested tags, all without them knowing. 

An electronic way to get over your ex on FB may sound stupid and childish, but admit it: things were way easier before you were basically prompted to follow their every move. If you have been constantly searching for and interacting with, say Christina Paxson, and then things go sour when you find out she’s married, Facebook won’t know that. Internet suggestions function on algorithms, so for all the website thinks, CPax and you are still tight. It will keep on asking you to tag her in stuff even though it is breaking your heart! Eventually, the algorithms would take into account your lack of interaction with her, and she would stop flooding your interface.

Now, instead of waiting for time to heal all stalking habits, FB and you can finally have the dialogue where you say, “Mark Zuckerberg, you just don’t get it, I can’t look at them right now.”

Sounds pretty great, right? Unfortunately, there’s a catch. This development is only at its testing stage for US mobile users, so the relationship had to have been FB official before the feature can be applied. Oh gosh, who has heard of someone’s relationship being sanctified by the grace of Facebook post the tenth grade?

For the sake of journalism (a BlogDH way of saying “an excuse for all of our dumb antics”), we knew what we had to do. Two random bloggers would have to throw it back to their early teens, enter a fake relationship on Facebook, publicly break up, and then explore this feature in first person, on their phones.

 

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Frosh-cessities: Calling your parents, guardians, and loved ones

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Many of you use your cell phones for Facebook, texting, and essentially connecting with people you care about. Often times, though, you’ll forget to connect with the people who are the reason you’re here reading this article now: your folks back home. Here’s Blog’s guide to calling your loved ones.

The occasion: Aced a test? Entered a relationship? Tried the breakfast burrito at Andrews? Whenever you experience a moment of bliss, big or small, don’t be shy to report back home. You have no idea how overjoyed they will be to live through it with you. When you applied to Brown, they were just as stressed out as you were. Then, when you got in, they were just as friggin’ happy as you were, screaming, jumping, and running around the neighborhood. On the flip-side, if you bombed that one midterm, called it quits with that kid down the hall, or bit into a moldy apple from the Ratty, don’t be afraid to share those moments either. Obviously, some parents will be more receptive or sensitive to certain issues, so gauge yours and determine what topics are discussible and which are verboten.

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