Post- Editors’ Top 10: November 10, 2011

Top 10 Pros and Cons of Banging the Biebs

1. He’s probably hairless.
2. It’s kind of like sleeping with your little brother.
3. He might invite Usher.
4. The best protection is prepubescence.
5. You don’t want Selena to be mad at you… Look what happened to Demi.
6. He’s totally jailbait.
7. Canada.
8. Singing lessons in the sack.
9. He never says never.
10. “Baby, baby, baby … Oh.”

Post-, the Herald’s arts and culture magazine, is published weekly on Thursdays.

Post- Editors’ Top 10: Things You Don’t Want to Hear on Valentine’s Day

Tomorrow marks February’s second main event, always nestled between the Super (expensive commercial) Bowl and much appreciated President’s Day Weekend. Whether you’ve got big plans involving fine dining and Barry White, or you’ve decided upon moping around in the overcast February weather like Jim Carrey in Eternal Sunshine, you should be able to appreciate Post-‘s Top 10 from this past Thursday:

1. Ratty at 6:00?

2. I’ve developed a gag reflex.

3. You know I’m gay, right?

4. CVS ran out of condoms. I got balloons.

5. Meesa Jar Jar Binks! Meeeeeesa wanna touch you!

6. I’m not drunk enough yet.

7. I f*cking love cocaine!

8. Does it always look like that?

9. Are you allergic to seafood? Because I think I’ve got crabs.

10. Sorry, new phone. Who is this?

Post- Editors’ Top 10: Brown vs. Harvard

In light of this weekend’s homecoming Brown vs. Harvard football game–the first night game at Brown’s stadium–our friends at the Post- Magazine have come up with a Top Ten featuring “Things Brown is Better at than Harvard.”

“1. Egyptology. Seriously.
2. There are only two Berks in the world. One on Thayer. One on Harvard Square. Ours is better; stomp up Thay.
3. Pembroke > Radcliffe. Even in the light.
4. Rollin’ green.
5. Football.
6. Being well-adjusted.
7. “There are actually several members of the Brown community who wear capes.” –Rachel Lamb
8. Bromance.
9. Nudity.
10. The Babe Ruth vs. The Endless Summers. Come on. Who’d win in a fight?”

Ra Ra Brunonia!

Post- Editors’ Top 10: Have a Badass, Post-ified Spring Break

1. Sign all release forms handed to you by cameramen.

2. Don’t drink and drive, smoke and fly.

3. Have sex on the beach. And maybe a cocktail.

4. Drink with your parents; realize they are racist.

5. Explain to your mom that the bulbous red mark on your neck is from paintball. With the boys. Not a hickey.

6. Berge watchin’. In Cabo. Bikini Edition.

7. Reunite with Kiwi friends. Awkwardly make excuses for why our darling editor Allison Zimmer hasn’t called back.

8. Get arrested. Make sungalsses out of lit cigarettes. “Once you kill a cow, you gotta make a burger.” The f*ck, Lady Gaga?

9. Beg MTV to meet you at the beach even though Spring Break is over for everyone but Brown. Have an exec tell you it sounds too douchey.

10. Say woo! whenever possible.

For more LOLZ check out today’s Post-, available anywhere fine newspapers are sold given away

Post- Editors’ Top 10: Ways to balance the budget

1. Shrink Katherine Bergeron’s “bedazzle my cape” fund.

2. Downgrade the CIT’s furnished atrium from MTC Cribs-worthy to semi-luxyry.

3. Hey, let’s give List to RISD.

4. Stop funding the Indy. Lord knows they need the controversy.

5. Ruth Simmons could share some of her monies.

6. Bake(d!!) sale.

7. Fire three deans. give Alice a raise.

8. Replace omelet line with umlaut line. Bëëf Tips: It’s what’s for dinner.

9. Cut Safewalk; walk dangerously.

10. Get rid of DPS Segways, replace them with pogo sticks.

For even more snark, check out today’s Post-!

Post- Editors’ Top 10: Frattiest Presidental Moments

Due to an error, this week’s Post- will be coming out tomorrow instead of today. Our bad; we know you’re completely devastated. To get you through, here’s a sneak peek of this week’s editors’ ten, and don’t forget to pick up your favorite arts and culture insert on newsstands tomorrow. Continue Reading