Top 10 Pros and Cons of Banging the Biebs
1. He’s probably hairless.
2. It’s kind of like sleeping with your little brother.
3. He might invite Usher.
4. The best protection is prepubescence.
5. You don’t want Selena to be mad at you… Look what happened to Demi.
6. He’s totally jailbait.
8. Singing lessons in the sack.
9. He never says never.
10. “Baby, baby, baby … Oh.”
Post-, the Herald’s arts and culture magazine, is published weekly on Thursdays.
Family Weekend banter, translated:
“Mm, your father and I are trying to find hotels for May … any suggestions?”
You are graduating in May! Did you forget this? We did not.
“So, have you started thinking about, you know, next year…?”
OHMYGOD. Our darling little child is graduating with zero marketable skills! What has s/he been doing all this time?
“You know, honey, I think your mother has finally gotten over the whole empty nest thing.”
Please, oh please, oh please do not move back home. We have turned your bedroom into a love nest. Continue Reading
Yes, we know that snow art is cool. Unfortunately, the slush that this week’s winter wonderland has turned into has become frustrating and sock-soaking. In light of all this, our friends at Post- have compiled a list of the top ten “Things to do in Providence Slush.”
1. Hotbox an igloo on the Main Green
2. I f*cking love cocaine!
3. Throw snowballs at Olives. Shed a tear for FishCo.
4. Build a snow slide out of a second story window. Throw ripper.
5. Leave it to melt in between your bra and your shirt so that the boyfriend who you’re actually not into is led to believe that he makes your nipples wet.
6. Hose down Brown walkways. Watch people fall. Oh wait, Facilities already did that…
7. Snow Owl (Berge) Watchin’.
8. Cross-country ski to class.
9. Slush Angels.
10. Write your name in pee next to the bear statue.
Here they are:
“1. Loot the Indy
2. glow-In-The-Dark body paint
3. All those candles Reslife doesn’t know about
4. Knocking down exit signs
5. Rhythm method
6. Calling ex-girlfriends
7. Infrared Berge-watching
9. ‘Who’s in my mouth’ — Marshall
10. Dirty shadow puppets.”
Love. It. But there’s still one question: what do you do if you’re blacked out during a blackout?
Welcome to the third and final installment of our serialization of Post- Magazine‘s Brown A-Z. In here we have some vital terms for freshmen defined such as S/NC, UCS, and most importantly sexile (sex+exile=sexile). Once again, if anyone can think of any terms we missed, or any corrections to our list (we aren’t perfect), just post them in the comment section. Enjoy!