You deserve this.
You’ve been working really hard lately! Like, super hard!
Winter break is only like two weeks away — it’s not like any decision you make at this point could actually affect your grades that badly.
It’s only a couple of minutes… or hours… or days…
Even though society wants you to forget it, you are a person before you are a student.
If you think about it, you probably don’t need all that time to do your work anyway. Doing it all right now and finishing early would just mean that you’ll have free time later when everyone else is working. So if you procrastinate now, you’re really just pacing yourself so that you’re not left to have fun by yourself when everyone else is studying. If you don’t really think about, it makes a whole lot of sense.
Think about all the Facebook holiday baking videos you’d be missing if you were working right now. It’s practically criminal.
Spending time with your friends before you have to abandon them for a month is equally, if not more, important to the work you think you should be doing.
As Maya Angelou (who is like, super smart) once said, “Every person needs to take one day away.”
I mean, at the end of the day, you’re going to do what you have to do. Who are you kidding? You’re a perfectionist that took 34 AP classes in high school. It’s not as if your academic conscience, which has equated academic success with self-worth for the last fifteen years, would let you not turn in your 15-page international relations paper. So even if you do end up writing all of it in the final 12 hours, you’re going to do it — ergo, you might as well surf Facebook for now. Yay!
Look, it happens to the best of us. It’s perfectly normal. It’s The Slump™. Be it the classic sophomore-slump or a plain old mid-semester-slump, pretty much everyone, at some point in school, starts to feel like no matter how much (or, let’s be real with ourselves, how little) they try — they’re getting literally nothing done. The Slump™ is a lot more common than you’d think. Here are some common symptoms to watch out for:
procrastination finals season. With all of the work we have to do, we welcome and embrace any possible distraction. An article about the Champions League (lol sports) or one about the importance of stretching is suddenly the most fascinating thing in the world when you don’t want to do your work.Right freaking now seems like the optimal moment to reorganize your Spotify playlists, doesn’t it? Or in my case, now is the time to write this post and ignore my 10-page paper due on Friday.
But, if you’re like me and you like to pretend everything is secretly about sex, perhaps you’re wondering what your procrastination technique reveals about your sexuality. Allow me to interpret:
- If you procrastinate by doing other, less urgent, work: You cyborg! How are you productive even while you’re procrastinating? I would be scared/too intimidated to hook up with you. You’re just so… efficient. I would recommend relaxing in all aspects of your life, from your schoolwork to what you do in the bedroom. Not everything has to be so serious!
Netflix has announced new movies and TV shows that will be making their streaming debut this December. As a way to look forward to lazy days indoors over winter break, or as a way to put off studying for finals a little bit longer, here is a list of all the titles coming to Netflix in the month of December 2014.
A Knight’s Tale (2001) (Dec. 1)
Inspired by Geoffrey Chaucer’s The Canterbury Tales, this medieval adventure film follows a peasant who is pretending to be a knight to compete in jousting tournaments. Rotten Tomatoes describes this as “Rocky on horseback.” *Dun… dun dun dun. Dun dun dun. Dun dun duuuuuuuun.*
Almost Famous (2000) (Dec. 1)
Directed and written by Cameron Crowe, this comedy-drama film tells the coming-of-age story of a teenage Rolling Stone journalist following the fictitious 70s band Stillwater.
American Beauty (1999) (Dec. 1)
Suggested to be a satire of the American middle class ideals of beauty and satisfaction, this drama tells the story of office worker Lester Burnham, who falls into a midlife crisis, enamored by his daughter’s teenage friend.
Bewitched (2005) (Dec. 1)
Based on the 1964-72 TV show of the same name, Bewitched stars Nicole Kidman and Will Ferrell. Ferrell plays Jack Wyatt, a struggling actor desperate for a role. Jack agrees to star in a film version of the TV series Bewitched (so meta). Nicole Kidman as Isabel Bigelow is cast as the female lead alongside Jack, playing the witch-turned-housewife Samantha. Nobody knows that Isabel is really a witch (OH BOY).
Midterm season has arrived in full-force these past few weeks. This has motivated countless students to settle down among the stacks, open their books and laptops, and revisit their old classroom notes and problem sets in an effort to succeed at all the challenges that Brown offers to them. Filled with personal discipline, an ability to delay gratification, and above all else a striving passion to perform, these devoted students will approach their exams and essays with a deep confidence in their abilities, a focused and prepared mind, and several nights of undisturbed sleep.
Here are some tips that might help you and other students avoid their looming work for the next cycle of midterms.
1. Think About How Much You Work You Have
There’s nothing better to distract you from studying than to think about how much work you have. I mean, really try to ponder it—all of the material that you’re responsible for in each class, how many words you’ll have to write in total for your essays—whatever it is, just make sure you’re very aware of how much you’ll need to accomplish in the next week. For the next step in not working, try to imagine the worst possible consequences that could happen if you screwed up. Linger on all of this for a few hours, and you’ll be well on your way to not getting anything done.
2. Talk to Other People About How Much Work You Have
Closely related to number one, a great way to be unproductive is to complain to others about how much you have to do in the upcoming weeks. Parents, friends, acquaintances, random people in line at the Ratty, all can be effectively used as tools to avoid finishing work. Try to distract them from their own work as you complain, so they become more anxious about what they have to do as well. The less industrious the people are around you, the better you’ll be at not studying.
But remember: always make sure that they know that you, ultimately, have it much harder than them, and are worthy of their sympathy.
3. Wait to Talk to a TA or go to Office Hours
If you really want to make sure you that you feel unaccomplished by the weekend, never start work on anything until you’re fully sure that you have the approval and understanding of your professor and/or TA. Go during peak hours of their schedule so you’ll have to wait in a long line, and never ask them direct questions related to your work, because remember, you haven’t started that. Instead, focus on broad, generic ideas that they have already mentioned in class, or ideally would be answered either on the syllabus or prompt—things that will bring you no closer to sitting down and working. But be careful, you might accidentally leave feeling productive, so try to remain skeptical of whatever advice they have to offer.
The care-free haze of September is winding down and workloads are increasing; in other words, it’s time to procrastinate. Brimming with gossip, news, funny articles, and Buzzfeed quizzes, Facebook is obviously your best friend in the distraction department. Unfortunately, it’s easy to fall into the trap of liking pages—especially some of Brown’s many novelty accounts—that seem interesting at first, but eventually prove to be rather annoying. Some are underwhelming, others are outdated, and soon enough you’re left with a cluttered mess on your newsfeed.
Because of this, the art of pruning is integral to keeping a happy and healthy newsfeed. So, in order to help optimize your Brown-related Facebook content, I have rated and ranked five of Brown’s most popular novelty pages:
1. Brown University Confessions. My personal favorite, Brown University Confessions posts anonymous confessions by Brown students. Perhaps the greatest characteristic of the page is its wide range of tones; posts can be serious, vehement, candid, or just plain weird. The page is updated frequently on weekdays and almost all of its posts are highly relatable and/or funny. Confessions is Brown’s most liked novelty page, and with good reason — it’s extremely entertaining and great for your newsfeed. 9.5/10
2. Brown University Snaps. Brown University Snaps posts about 1-2 screenshots of students’ Snapchats each day. The page is light-hearted; while it lacks Confessions’s occasional serious post, it never fails to be engaging and entertaining. Not too invasive and almost always good for a quick laugh, Brown University Snaps is a solid page that’s definitely worth liking. 9/10