Getting to Ale House
Drunk: I decided to bring my illicit substances to pregame the event with High because it felt too lame to drink by myself. High showed me this game where you can be a goat and roam around the Goativerse. I made fun of him for five minutes, but he convinced me to pay $5 and download the app for myself. By the time it downloaded, I wasn’t completely on my game and it took me ten minutes to figure out that the reason that I wasn’t moving forward was because I was continuously hitting the “collapse” button that made my goat fall to the floor. Walking over to the event, I pretended that High was the goat in the game and kept hitting them so that they would “ba” on command. We arrived 40 minutes late.
Sober: At exactly 7:25, I put my Portuguese textbook away, and left Faunce in a hurry. I only had to walk two blocks, but I wanted to make sure I got to Ale House early enough to secure a seat, and more importantly, to get some pizza. My studies in the two hours prior had deterred my attention away from eating for the first time that day, and I was banking on Buddy’s “get together” for some much needed sustenance. By the time I got to the front doors, I was still two minutes early and decided to text Drunk. I knew it was a long shot, but I wanted to see if they were on their way to know whether or not waiting outside would have been worth it. The only salvageable information from Drunk’s response told me that they were running late because High couldn’t stop playing some “goat game.” I waited outside for another three minutes, but my cravings got the best of me.
High: There’s a great new game called Goat Simulator. Whatever you’re doing, especially if it’s getting ready to go to a Buddy Cianci campaign event, get Goat Simulator.
Ale House Pre-Buddy
Drunk: I arrived to the Ale House with one mission and one mission only: to convince everyone that Goat Simulator was all that they were missing in their lives…until someone from the Cianci campaign gave me a free t-shirt and then I felt my sense of purpose was getting High a t-shirt as well. Wow, I am such a good friend. I found a lady with a t-shirt and told her why High really, really, really needed a t-shirt. After a 2 minute explanation, she weirdly told me that she was just there for the event and that she didn’t know where I could get a t-shirt. My t-shirt did a really great job collecting my pizza sauce. I really wanted to ask someone if the sauce on the pizza was made by Buddy.