It’s pretty safe to say that size envy has been part of the male psyche for a very long time. Think back to the 17^th century, when European monarchs played “whose is bigger” with their castles (I’m talking to you, Louis XIV). We still get involved with such mind games, but now we’re talking about penises. This week, Time published research done by condomania.com about America’s buying habits when it comes to condoms. The website sells and delivers condoms throughout the country, and in their study they compiled sales data from across the country to determine the relative sizes of states’ male members.

At first I questioned the validity of this survey because, let’s be honest, who has ever ordered condoms online? But after perusing Condomania, it seems like they actually know their stuff when it comes to condoms. They literally have pages and pages of different types of condoms, as well as other sex toys. Who knew that you could import condoms from Japan, or buy vegan lube? [Read more →]

Hoards of reputable sources, from Business Insider to BetchesLoveThis, have mercilessly ranked the Ivy League universities, but these lists have only compared the same, yawn-worthy specifications (Student Life, Academics, Affordability, Campus, Celebrity Alumni, Location, Greek Life, etc). Can you spot the great oversight all of these useless rankings share? Yes, that’s right. None of these sites have evaluated the Ivy League based on the schools’ respective Henry Moore sculptures. How could they be so foolish to overlook such a critical criterion? [Read more →]

Perhaps you are enjoying a bag of delicious Deep River kettle cooked potato chips as you read this, or pigging out on multiple rounds of some sugary Ratty treat (or both… I don’t judge), but don’t feel too guilty about indefinitely prolonging the Freshman 15 your unhealthy eating choices. Overall, we’re considered a pretty healthy bunch!

According to the health and fitness website greatist.com, Brown ranks 6th on their list of “25 Healthiest Colleges in the US.” The website commends our locally grown food options, and vegetarian/vegan alternatives. Not surprisingly, they also mention our excellent Health Services, specifically those relating to sexual health and safety. So, next time you feel like complaining about Brown’s allegedly crappy dining hall food or subpar health services, just remember that there are those who think otherwise! Who cares if some Harvard-adoring academic ranking systems don’t realize our true merit – I’m looking at you, US News & World Report Rankings – rejoice because we’ve got great access to healthy food and condoms!

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For all of you who actually care about college rankings, you shouldn’t. They’re arbitrary and irrelevant to your college experience. No matter how useless these rankings might be, however, it’s still nice to have some bragging rights over our fellow Ivy foes.

Behold, the most useless ranking of all time: Brown is the best college in the world according to Best 50 Colleges, an extremely credible sketchy website claiming to have a more comprehensive methodology than the typical college-ranking powerhouses. Supposedly, the site considers “important” aspects of college life in its “complex algorithm”: how many TAs a school has, whether or not it has professional chefs (they clearly haven’t been to the Gate), the size of the its dorm rooms, and how many famous people have gone there, among other things. Whether you buy into it or not, at least we beat Harvard. HA!

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HuffPo published its list of LGBT friendly colleges yesterday via Unigo, and Brown came in at a fabulous number 4.

Let’s be honest: Nobody’s really surprised.

We have a rainbow flag hanging on the Main Green. We counter-protest. We’re the school with a badass Queer Alliance that throws SPG, hosted IvyQ last year, and generally makes the campus a delicious alphabet soup of queer activism.

It is nice to get the recognition, especially since this is up from last year’s Daily Beast rating, which put us at a paltry 9.

(Plus, we’re the only Ivy to make the list. While we shouldn’t be petty—suck that, New Haven!)

­And by the way, HuffPo, it’s LGBTQ. Let’s be inclusive here.

Over the years, the Brown student body has accumulated all types of labels and rankings: happiest, douchiest, trendiest. Now we can add entrepreneurial to the list: Forbes published a list of the most entrepreneurial colleges and used LinkedIn profiles to identify graduates who have founded companies with ten or more employees. Out of twenty schools, Brown came in at No. 13.

The inside caps of the Nantucket Nectars bottles feature facts about the founders Tom First '89 and Tom Scott '90.

This ranking is not at all surprising: From on-campus businesses like MunchCard to national brands such as Nantucket Nectars, Brunonians have always had a flair for startups. Classes like Professor Hazeltine’s Engn90: Managerial Decision Making require students to make business plans that start as class assignments but often become actual companies later. Entrepreneurship runs in Brunonians’ veins.

In other rankings news, Forbes also released their list of America’s top colleges on which Brown came in at No. 19. In The Daily Beast’s yearly crop of rankings, we ranked 23rd for most liberal (only 23rd? Really?) and in sixth for most stressful, a ranking that seems to be based on a combination of financial aid, acceptance rates, and crime. Needless to say, if Orgo were part of the criteria, we probably would have placed higher in this category. This aforementioned stress may have something to do with the fact that we’re now considered fourth happiest. Sure, this ranking is a bit lower than what we’re used to, but here’s to hoping that Princeton Review’s 2013 rankings will bring us better news in the happiness category.

The strangest ranking of all? Brown tied for 49th (with China’s Peking University) on Times Higher Education’s World University Rankings. Had Brunonia scored just a few points higher, we could’ve tied with the University of Minnesota. Yes, you read that right.

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The Princeton Review released a new guidebook on April 3 entitled The Best 300 Professors. The Princeton Review creates books for high school students, ranking colleges based on different criteria from best campus food to happiest students (a list we occasionally top).

In its most recent book, The Princeton Review collaborated with RateMyProfessors.com, students and administrators from colleges across the nation. According to GoLocalProv, Brown is the only school in Rhode Island to have any professors mentioned in the book. With five professors on the list, Brown is one of the best represented colleges. So, as pre-registeration for next fall approaches, consider enrolling in a class with one of these professors, whose areas of specialty and Fall ’12 course offerings are listed below…

• Barrett Hazeltine, engineering (ENGN9)
• Joseph Pucci, classics (The Idea of Self, Fortunatus)
• Stephanie Ravillon, French (Fren30, Fren60)
• Robert Serrano, economics (Microeconomics I)
• Daniel Stupar, studio art (unlisted for Fall ’12)

And, if you’re a second semester senior and haven’t had the chance to take a class with any of these professors, at least make your way to Professor Hazeltine’s office in Barus & Holley, introduce yourself, and receive a legendary handshake.

Despite a rough midterm period, Brown aced the Trojan Sexual Health Report Card. According to the Trojan list (via HuffPo), Brown is the 4th most sexually healthy college in America. Coincidence that SexPowerGod is right around the corner? You decide.

Many would like to think that The Daily Beast is a legitimate news publication, featuring up-to-date news stories and op-ed contributions from journalistic juggernauts such as Meghan McCain. Unfortunately, actual news on The Daily Beast is merely a front, rather than a focus, that keeps the website floating somewhere in the vast expanse between TMZ and CNN.

The Beast’s bread and butter, like any other news outlet, is celebrity gossip and pop culture news. The site, however, is “unique” amongst other celebrity news websites in that it insists on presenting its pointless information of choice by making extensive slideshow lists ranging from Hollywood’s Best Worst Teachers to TV’s Best Celebrity Weddings (have you heard of any other kind of celebrity wedding these days?). Now, the editors at The Beast have decided that its random categorization approach would translate well to college rankings. If you’ve spent your life wondering which American college Tina Brown thinks is the most “Free-Spirited,” the wait is over – where Brown University stands and reactions after the jump. [Read more →]

Yesterday was a sad, sad day for Brown University. The Princeton Review rolled out its annual batch of Arbitrary College Enumerations, and our beloved Brown University was shockingly absent from the #1 spot on the  Happiest Students list. Sure we are still number three, but we were dethroned by Rice University (?) and Clemson University (double ?).

What the Princeton Review doesn’t realize is that we Brown students have never been as unhappy as we were yesterday when our crown was stolen. Jenny Bloom ’12 wept over a Meeting Street cookie wondering if “it [were] just a self-fulfilling prophecy.”  Other students have taken to the streets crying for the rightful reclamation of our title. But most students have just sat on windowsills wondering what Rice and Clemson kids have that they don’t, besides the absence of a snowy, long, depressingly cold winter–who smells unfair advantage? Huffington Post voted us the 6th most hipster school (aren’t hipsters perpetually happy rubbing their egos?) and GQ took us out of the running for douchiest college, but this doesn’t seem to have helped us. Is it because we’re the next Ivy behind Princeton, Harvard and Yale in the 2011 Forbes rankings? Why oh why, Princeton Review, would you assume that we’re even a fraction as miserable as the students at those highly depressing regarded institutions? See BlogDailyHerald’s happiness solution after the jump [Read more →]