Brown’s novelty Facebook pages, ranked

Social networking LIKE The care-free haze of September is winding down and workloads are increasing; in other words, it’s time to procrastinate. Brimming with gossip, news, funny articles, and Buzzfeed quizzes, Facebook is obviously your best friend in the distraction department. Unfortunately, it’s easy to fall into the trap of liking pages—especially some of Brown’s many novelty accounts—that seem interesting at first, but eventually prove to be rather annoying. Some are underwhelming, others are outdated, and soon enough you’re left with a cluttered mess on your newsfeed.

Because of this, the art of pruning is integral to keeping a happy and healthy newsfeed. So, in order to help optimize your Brown-related Facebook content, I have rated and ranked five of Brown’s most popular novelty pages:

1. Brown University Confessions. My personal favorite, Brown University Confessions posts anonymous confessions by Brown students. Perhaps the greatest characteristic of the page is its wide range of tones; posts can be serious, vehementcandid, or just plain weird. The page is updated frequently on weekdays and almost all of its posts are highly relatable and/or funny. Confessions is Brown’s most liked novelty page, and with good reason — it’s extremely entertaining and great for your newsfeed. 9.5/10

2. Brown University Snaps. Brown University Snaps posts about 1-2 screenshots of students’ Snapchats each day. The page is light-hearted; while it lacks Confessions’s occasional serious post, it never fails to be engaging and entertaining. Not too invasive and almost always good for a quick laugh, Brown University Snaps is a solid page that’s definitely worth liking. 9/10

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Useless Rankings: Rhode Island’s large ‘endowment’

It’s pretty safe to say that size envy has been part of the male psyche for a very long time. Think back to the 17th century, when European monarchs played “whose is bigger” with their castles (I’m talking to you, Louis XIV). We still get involved with such mind games, but now we’re talking about penises. This week, Time published research done by condomania.com about America’s buying habits when it comes to condoms. The website sells and delivers condoms throughout the country, and in their study they compiled sales data from across the country to determine the relative sizes of states’ male members.

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At first I questioned the validity of this survey because, let’s be honest, who has ever ordered condoms online? But after perusing Condomania, it seems like they actually know their stuff when it comes to condoms. They literally have pages and pages of different types of condoms, as well as other sex toys. Who knew that you could import condoms from Japan, or buy vegan lube? Continue Reading


Art School(ed): A useful ranking of the Ivy League’s Henry Moore sculptures

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Hoards of reputable sources, from Business Insider to BetchesLoveThis, have mercilessly ranked the Ivy League universities, but these lists have only compared the same, yawn-worthy specifications (Student Life, Academics, Affordability, Campus, Celebrity Alumni, Location, Greek Life, etc). Can you spot the great oversight all of these useless rankings share? Yes, that’s right. None of these sites have evaluated the Ivy League based on the schools’ respective Henry Moore sculptures. How could they be so foolish to overlook such a critical criterion? Continue Reading


Brown lands spot on “Healthiest Colleges” list

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Perhaps you are enjoying a bag of delicious Deep River kettle cooked potato chips as you read this, or pigging out on multiple rounds of some sugary Ratty treat (or both… I don’t judge), but don’t feel too guilty about indefinitely prolonging the Freshman 15 your unhealthy eating choices. Overall, we’re considered a pretty healthy bunch!

According to the health and fitness website greatist.com, Brown ranks 6th on their list of “25 Healthiest Colleges in the US.” The website commends our locally grown food options, and vegetarian/vegan alternatives. Not surprisingly, they also mention our excellent Health Services, specifically those relating to sexual health and safety. So, next time you feel like complaining about Brown’s allegedly crappy dining hall food or subpar health services, just remember that there are those who think otherwise! Who cares if some Harvard-adoring academic ranking systems don’t realize our true merit – I’m looking at you, US News & World Report Rankings – rejoice because we’ve got great access to healthy food and condoms!

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Useless Rankings: Brown is number 1 when you “count what matters”

For all of you who actually care about college rankings, you shouldn’t. They’re arbitrary and irrelevant to your college experience. No matter how useless these rankings might be, however, it’s still nice to have some bragging rights over our fellow Ivy foes.

Behold, the most useless ranking of all time: Brown is the best college in the world according to Best 50 Colleges, an extremely credible sketchy website claiming to have a more comprehensive methodology than the typical college-ranking powerhouses. Supposedly, the site considers “important” aspects of college life in its “complex algorithm”: how many TAs a school has, whether or not it has professional chefs (they clearly haven’t been to the Gate), the size of the its dorm rooms, and how many famous people have gone there, among other things. Whether you buy into it or not, at least we beat Harvard. HA!

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Brown ranks 4th in list of top 10 LGBT-friendly colleges

HuffPo published its list of LGBT friendly colleges yesterday via Unigo, and Brown came in at a fabulous number 4.

Let’s be honest: Nobody’s really surprised.

We have a rainbow flag hanging on the Main Green. We counter-protest. We’re the school with a badass Queer Alliance that throws SPG, hosted IvyQ last year, and generally makes the campus a delicious alphabet soup of queer activism.

It is nice to get the recognition, especially since this is up from last year’s Daily Beast rating, which put us at a paltry 9.

(Plus, we’re the only Ivy to make the list. While we shouldn’t be petty—suck that, New Haven!)

­And by the way, HuffPo, it’s LGBTQ. Let’s be inclusive here.