I was sitting down last Tuesday with a bowl of popcorn, geared up to watch Beyonce and Jay Z’s grammy performance for the umpteenth time, when one of those annoying YouTube ads popped up. It was a five seconder. Not bad, I thought. Except then a sad-looking man filled the screen while acoustic guitar played in the background.
“Hi. I’m Clay Pell. I am announcing my candidacy for the Democratic nomination for governor of Rhode Island…”
I quickly clicked SKIP AD. But as I continued to surf YouTube, I found I couldn’t escape it. Nobody in the state of Rhode Island can. It appeared before every music video and movie trailer I attempted to watch. I started to have nightmares about it.
“Hola. Soy Clay Pell. Hoy, anuncio mi candidatura para la nominación…” AHHH. IT’S EVEN IN SPANISH.
I couldn’t put my finger on exactly what bothered me about the ad, and then I realized: Pell had the same expression and voice typically reserved for anti-depressant and laxative ads. Between the James Blunt-esque music and Pell’s puppy dog eyes, he could just as easily have said: “Hi. I’m Clay Pell. I’m here today to talk about your inflamed colon. I want to let you know — I’m here to help.”
‘Tis the season for overly dramatic and arboreal scuffles.
In response to last year’s flak regarding renaming the 17-foot evergreen in the State House a “Holiday Tree,” Rhode Island’s Governor Chafee ’75 P’14 P’17 has restored the Christmas tree title in a statement issued on Monday.
Rhode Island of all places is a peculiar site for a debate over public religious tokens, considering the Rhode Island Charter of 1663 was the first legal document in the world that completely decoupled church and state in favor of toleration, according to historian J. Stanley Lemons.
However, unsurprisingly, much of the hubbub last year surrounding the name “Holiday Tree” came from none other than Papa Bear Bill O’Reilly. In classic Factor fashion, he sent Jesse Watters up to Providence to ask Brown students for their take on the issue. Watters aired a segment portraying Brown students as the only population in the state that preferred the holiday tree over a Christmas tree, saying that all people he spoke to in Providence preferred the traditional name “except if you go to Brown University.” Continue Reading
Brian Griffin, former Brown student and loving dog of the Griffin Family, was struck by a car while playing roller hockey and died in Quahog, Rhode Island on Sunday, November 24. He was 8 years old.
Brian was picked up as a stray by his owner, Peter Griffin. Brian was brought into the family of Peter, Lois, Chris, Meg, and Stewie. He loved his family deeply—he was known to spend lots of time with baby Stewie, and also was known to have been madly in love with Peter’s wife, Lois. His relationships with the Griffin’s neighbors were cordial, for the most part; the exception was his relationship with Glenn Quagmire, which was particularly tense. This was due to each individual’s fixation with Lois Griffin.
His admiration of Lois wasn’t exceptional—he was generally affectionate toward human women. Sadly, he was unable to maintain his various relationships, due in part to poor relationship advice from Stewie (remember: Stewie is an evil talking baby). The most notable case was his (ex-)girlfriend Jillian. The two moved in together, but things got rocky thereafter, largely due to Brian’s inability to handle her complete idiocy. He died a single man.
Rhode Island killing it: The University of Alabama has released a map revealing the statistically worst things about every state. Rhode Island came in first for the highest rate of illicit drug use, with around 12.5 percent of the population using. Just another fact to add to one of the strangest states in the country. Check out your home state’s fact at Policy Mic.
Too cool to miss: Scientists at Harvard and MIT have successfully created “photonic molecules,” a phenomenon that occurs when photons bind together into a solid state. The coolest part: these molecules could potentially be used to make light sabers. Light sabers. Harvard Professor of Physics Mikhail Lukin stated “It’s not an in-apt analogy to compare this to light sabers. When these photons interact with each other, they’re pushing against and deflect each other. The physics of what’s happening in these molecules is similar to what we see in the movies.” Maybe they’ll use real light sabers for Star War VII. Just maybe (International Business Times). Continue Reading
Washington right now is a little short on some of the virtues— and I’m not even the senior senator from RI— but I want to do what I can to try to push a different debate into the discussion, and to look back and see what people have said and done at some of the most important times in history, things that capture a particular piece of the human spirit. I think that adds a little bit of value.
It’s nice to know there’s someone on the Hill that still has an ounce of hope in America.
This afternoon, the Rhode Island State Senate passed the same-sex marriage bill 26-12.
Before the bill lands on Governor Lincoln Chafee’s ’75 P’14 desk, the Senate’s updated version of the bill needs to go back to the House for review and approval. The House had approved an earlier version of the bill back in January in a 51-19 vote. If the bill is signed to law, it could go into effect as early as August 1, and Rhode Island would become the 10th state to allow same-sex marriage. Lil Rhody is well on its way to making marriage equality a reality.
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