If the libraries were pop singers, who would they be?

The age-old question of which dining hall matches up with which rapper has at last been settled. Recently, a new comparison arose in my mind: what about the Brown libraries and pop singers? See below for the final ten pairings. [Ed’s note: We have ten libraries?!]

The Rock = Taylor Swift

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“I’ve got a blank space, baby, and I’ll write an essay in absolute quiet.”

The Rock is always there: dependable, eclectic, the “America’s sweetheart” of libraries. It could only possibly be paired with the adorably inane TSwift. Sure, it’s about as easy to complain that you’re spending way too much time at the Rock as you do listening to Taylor. Yes, after a while it begins to seem like they’re both just the same thing over and over, but stay away from either one and you’ll return to find something new and interesting, whether it’s a bloodthirsty new music video or a shelf entirely filled with strange sexual practices across history. In fact, the Rock might even be a bit more predictable than Swift, since you can generally count on the Rock to not have bangs, and to not suddenly remove all of its songs from Spotify. (Side note: They both, permanently or temporarily, reside in Rhode Island.)

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10 things you missed if you didn’t attend Rock at the Rock

It’s official: Brown absolutely loves birthdays. This weekend, the Rock celebrated the big 5-0, and instead of a typical 50th birthday party with fancy wine and adults making small talk, the library threw perhaps the punniest party in the Brown’s history. Here are ten things you missed if you didn’t rock out at Rock at the Rock:

10.  Food from the Ratty, after 7:30 p.m.: Rock at the Rock was a catered event, complete with soda, hot chocolate, and the full hummus bar straight out of the Ratty’s Roots and Shoots section.

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9.  A chance to say thanks to the librarians: Almost the entire library staff was at the festivity. Since they are the secret superheroes of Brown — and are in the midst of important contract negotiations with the University — they deserve some serious appreciation. You could always chat them a nice note.

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8. Cupcakes that looked like rocks: Rocks aren’t necessarily the most appetizing-looking minerals, but cupcakes are always a plus.

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