Your guide to properly tackling the Rhode Island Seafood Festival (no pun intended)

After four and a half hours of eating my weight in seafood under the guise of ‘trendy Brown foodie,’ I can proudly claim myself a member of the Seafood Diet: I saw food—I saw seafood, actually—and I ate it. All of it.

The 4th Annual Rhode Island Seafood Festival is a cornucopia of yumminess, good vibes, and the catch o’ the day. The festival’s second and final day is going down in India Point Park from 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. this afternoon. The admission is free, the food is not, and there’s a slew of live music all day long overlooking the Providence River. It doesn’t get much more New England-y than this.

If you’re like me, then the most important piece of information stated above is the event’s timing, which allows you to eat lunch, an afternoon snack, and dinner at the festival. This, of course, is what I did.

If you decide to do the festival today, then it’s important to do it right. Here’s a guide to the Seefood/Seafood Diet of the 4th Annual Rhode Island Seafood Festival, aiding you in selecting dishes based on your personal pallet — assuming you probs won’t eat it all like we did.

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Before

After

After

The Most Classic
What to order: Point Judith Lobster Roll
Where: Shuckin Truck
Why: If you like lobster rolls, you’ll like this one. No question about it. The lobster salad isn’t too mayo-y and I give the bun a 6.75/10 in terms of toasted-ness and buttered-ness. It wasn’t the best lobster roll I’ve ever had, nor was it the worst. It was, however, the type of lobster roll where the lobster-to-bun ratio is at times weak, and you find yourself eating more bun than you do lobster and you can’t really taste the lobster at all. I recommend ripping off the lower half of the bun for best tasting experience.

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The Most Hipster
What to order: Cold-brew coffee
Where: The Coffee Guy
Why: First of all, you can get dollar refills. Second of all, it does taste different than a plain old iced coffee, and everyone who believes in the sanctity of cold-brew coffee will tell you that because, now I know, it is really true. Third of all, the guy who runs the company—the ‘guy’ behind The Coffee Guy—will tell you a cute little story about how he roasts his own beans over by Newport and only does farmer’s markets and festivals. Love him, love his coffee, loved my refill.

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