Brown students often throw around accusatory labels. Heteronormative, relativist, dogmatic and sexist — the list goes on and on. But perhaps no epithet stings more than the label ethnocentric, an accusation that you evaluate the world based on your own biased cultural values.

As a Brown student, Heather HotPants also reflects on her biases from time to time. And today, Heather has something to admit: she’s been a little ethnocentric.

Writing a sex column can be hard. No two individuals are exactly alike, which is why a lot of us run around for so many years trying to find another mate whose sexual and emotional preferences match our own. With people’s wide range of tastes and desires, it’s tempting for a sex columnist to make the occasional generalization about our species. I’ve tried to avoid making blanket statements like “women are bitches” or “men cheat,” but, nevertheless, the temptation exists.

All I can do is write what I know. Any wisdom I’ve imparted has been shaped by my experiences as a white, privileged, heterosexual female. I’ve talked a lot about being heterosexual and being female, but I haven’t spent much time talking about how the white and privileged parts shape my views of sex and sexuality.

I recently came across a shocking article in Psychology Today, which explains that most of what we know in psychology is based on a very small, special population (hint: you’re a member). This special population, which one review in Cambridge’s Behavior and Brain Sciences calls “WEIRD,” is made up of “Western, Educated, Industrialized, Rich, and Democratic” societies. This group makes up a paltry “12% of the world’s population” but can account for “96% of the subjects whose behavior has been reported in top psychological journals,” according to the article. [Read more →]

Ah, restless Brunonian, your intellectual curiosity knows no geographic limits! Why spend time reading about Joyce when you can truly experience his words for yourself in Dublin? Why study science in a lecture hall when you can visit CERN in Geneva? You have to go and see the world for yourself! So, at least, you told Mom and Dad as you signed your study abroad application last Friday.

But let’s get down to the real reason why you’re going abroad. That’s right, some good ol’ fashioned foreign sex. Brown is wonderful, sure, but it’s no secret that by senior year, you likely will have slept with all of your friends. We live in a small place. A place where your last one-night stand is lurking at every turn of the Rock and the most exciting sex news is a cameo appearance of the John Street masturbator… again. Let’s fly, fly away from Brown, just for a safe semester or two, and let our genitals express themselves globally! Before you go, though, a heads up on what you’ve gotten yourself into. [Read more →]

It’s Sex Week @ Brown.

SHEEC, the Sexual Health Education & Empowerment Center, organizes the 7-day long event comprised of workshops, lectures, screenings, and more. Sex Week is in its fourth year and is in full swing until this Saturday, March 17.

The point of Sex Week? To “bring events to campus about things people may want to know about but might not feel comfortable asking about,” says Jenn Conti ’12, co-chair of SHEEC. “Sex and sexual health are usually spun in a negative way — ‘don’t do this, don’t do that’ — but through Sex Week, we’re talking about things in a sex-positive way.”

Sex-positive? Sounds good to me!

But is Sex Week just another sad example of Brown kids talking about sex without actually having any? Maybe. Sex Week certainly won’t go around knocking on Keeney doors and forcing coitus where it’s not wanted. But talking about sex openly might be the first step in that giant leap from just curious to full-blown sexually active. Plus, some events — like the “Orchestrating Orgasms” workshop with star sex educator Megan Andelloux — prove much less academic and much more utilitarian, hem hem.

Events at Sex Week you should not miss: 

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Chances are you’ve already heard plenty of reasons to scare you from having sex — particularly if you are a woman or a homosexual male. All over the planet we’ve got rules about what we shouldn’t be doing and whom we shouldn’t be doing.

What are some of the things about sex you’re supposed to fear?

1. Pregnancy
2. Rape (apparently, ladies, if you have sex or even flirt with a guy, then you’re probably asking for sex with anyone at anytime)
3. STIs
4. AIDS (yeah, I know, similar to #3 but this one has historically been directed towards gay males)
5. Being labeled a slut or a manwhore (they even have a sort of slut IQ test for it now)
6. Not being able to have a family  (if you like to have sex with people of your same sex)

At a place like Brown, most of us can shrug off the critics and decide for ourselves which risks we’re comfortable taking. There is, however, one fear voiced quite frequently at Brown and it’s this:

Ruining your chances of establishing a meaningful relationship with someone. [Read more →]

Editorial Disclaimer: This post has been created by college students for college students.  It has been rated NC-17 for its sexual nature and anatomically graphic references. Please proceed at your own risk. Thanks for reading! Love, BlogDH

Valentine’s Day. Couples treat each other to flowers, chocolates and singing Mariachi bands. Your friend opens up her JWW mailbox to discover two tickets to New York from her beau. No fair! What about your box? You glance around Salomon 101 and everyone is passing around Sweetheart candy. Where is your Yum-Yum?

No worries, dear. This Valentine’s Day, Heather Hot Pants is celebrating the other V-Day. No matter if you’re single, hooking up or in something more committed, your little lady spot needs to be pampered, too. [Read more →]

My friend Dave has this theory: you can’t have sex without getting attached. Or, more precisely, only old, divorced ladies can have sex without getting attached. But me, the college student, running around filled with hormones, tripping over my own shoelaces, getting hysterical when I get a new text message, getting hysterical when I don’t get a new text message, me, I can’t really have sex without getting attached, so maybe I should stop kidding myself.

As college students and proud members of the Y Generation, we’ve created an interesting social system. These aren’t the ordered days of the 1950s, where you had sex in the back of a Chevy at a drive-in movie with your going-steady boyfriend. Nor are they the wild days of the ’70s, where orgasms floated around in the air anonymously like dandelions and no one knew about HIV.

It’s 2012, and we’ve constructed something in the middle. We’re too busy for commitment, but we’re also too busy to go around looking for a new mate every night of the weekend. We’re focused on bagging that perfect summer internship, working hard in school, and being independent. So we’ve invented booty calling, sexting, and hooking up. [Read more →]

Author’s note: I used “gay” in this article to mean gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, queer, trans. I’m sorry if I should have used a more inclusive term but gay and homo are the most common terms I use with my friends. I know this isn’t the same thing as being transsexual, for example. Please feel free to include yourself under any, all, or none of the terms used in the article. I apologize in advance if I insult anyone, it’s not my intention.

At Brown, the sexuality spectrum runs the gamut from straight as an arrow to gay as RuPaul. Our campus is more colorful than ROY G BIV, so it’s rare to find a truly homophobic voice on campus. That’s not to say that everyone on campus open-heartedly embraces freedom of sexuality, but I can’t remember the last time I heard an openly hostile homophobic argument within the Van Wickle Gates. If you want to hear a discussion on the sanctity of the institution of marriage, you’ll probably have to wait for the next spicy Janus lecture series.

But recently something struck me as equally noxious on this campus – homohesitancy. What is homohesitancy? And how do you know if you’re infected with it? Before I get there, let me tell you a story to illustrate the point. [Read more →]

Editorial Disclaimer: This post has been created by college students for college students.  It has been rated NC-17 for its sexual nature and anatomical references. Please proceed at your own risk. Thanks for reading! Love, BlogDH

My last post on blowjobs was simple. Male anatomy is straightforward – the crooked ones included. But lady territory is a whole different ballpark.

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Editorial Disclaimer: This post has been created by college students for college students.  It has been rated NC-17 for its sexual nature and anatomical references. Please proceed at your own risk. Thanks for reading! Love, BlogDH

Thanksgiving is around the corner. Finding a way to tell your partner “I’m grateful to have you in my life” can be tricky. Flowers? Too corny. A card? Overdone. Oral sex? Now there’s an idea! [Read more →]

1. SciLi – For fans of both physical sciences and fornication, no location matches the classic, oh-so-phallic Sciences Library. The best part about this place is that it’s easily accessible. Just swipe right in and ride the elevator until you find an abandoned floor. Finding a deserted stack is the biggest challenge – who knew people still read books? After that, you’ll be riding your partner in no time! Avoid it during midterms and finals.

• Biggest issue with the SciLi: The guards! According to one guard, they are instructed to roam the floors occasionally to check for couples doing the dirty.
• Tips to avoid it? Stay below the 7th floor if you can. And even if you do get caught, not a huge deal. According to the guard, he will “just awkwardly stare.” If that doesn’t work, he will ask you to come downstairs and ask you to leave. They are told to report it to DPS but “DPS never does anything about it.”

2. Glass Room of Faunce – what better way to leave your mark on Brown than choosing its beautiful center of campus for your love-making? Harder to access than the SciLi, but it’s still not impossible. Both the LGBTQ center and the Radio Station offer access to this place. Go through the Emergency Exit door – don’t worry, the alarm won’t go off. Fellow Brunonians innocently taking notes across the street at JWW can see you, so you’ll want to get this done as quickly as possible.

• A tip for wetting the tip: Bring lube. As one Faunce sex veteran told me: “it’s really hard get that turned on in like the five seconds of kissing before you guys try to have sex.” You might want to make a pit stop in the JWW bathroom before your four-legged frolic.

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