Cushion (n.): The person who is (knowingly or unknowingly) brought along to make a stressful situation less tense and awkward with their presence alone.
How it’s used in the show: Jessa brings Hannah with her to visit her estranged dad and his girlfriend, Petula. Upon arriving, Petula says to Hannah, “I was so nervous about seeing Jessa because I know she hates me, and she hasn’t seen her dad in so long. So I prayed, and here I manifested the solution – you. You’re the cushion.” To this, Hannah replies, “Are you sure I’m the cushion? I’ve never done it before but I’m definitely up for it.” Although the interactions between Jessa and her father are already tense in the episode, Hannah provided some relief for Jessa and divided her attention effectively.
Most of us are guilty of subjecting our friends to the role of cushion at some point or another, whether we do it consciously or not. After watching this week’s episode of Girls, we found ourselves wondering: just how kosher is a cushion? Is it okay to rely on a third party to ease social tensions, or is that considered immature? Maybe cushions are okay in particular situations, but best used sparingly. As the case of Girls shows, the cushion is a godsend. There are certain times when we wish the cushion gods would answer our prayers, and there are others when we really shouldn’t be praying at all.
Sexit (n.): Well, in Hannah’s words: “To leave a party or another event to go have sex.” Depending on circumstances, this can either be an exhilarating covert operation filled with seductive hiding and passionate whispering, or the most awkward situation imaginable.
How it’s used in the show: The episode opens with Hannah basking in her own genius over the creation of a phrase she believes could go as “completely viral” as the term bootycall: Sexit. Lena really handed this one to us on a silver platter, which she probably stole from Patrick Wilson’s super awesome Greenpoint townhouse. Although Ray shoots her “brilliance” down with a quick Urban Dictionary search on his phone (why does Ray have a smartphone?), Hannah brings up a very interesting point: What’s the best way to bail on a social situation to bang, specifically in our own Brunonian world?
Time: 12:00 a.m.
Discreet sexit feasibility: EASY
Here’s an example of entry-level sexiting. At this point in the night, you and your desired sexual partner have probably ditched your respective group of friends, and are either aggressively making out on the dance floor or secluded in a corner of the patio. Leaving da club discreetly should not be that hard. If you’re worried about ditching your friends without saying bye (which honestly defeats the purpose of a sexit), shoot them a text once you’ve already left. Nothing puts the kibosh on a sexit like your belligerent roommate begging you not to leave without her. Continue Reading