
At Brown, we do have one binary: to take one’s shoes off during class. There is no “sometimes I do,” and there is no, “well, I slide my feet out halfway.” No, no, no. Let’s not be silly. You might think that halfway insertion of foot into shoe doesn’t count because no one can see it, no one’s paying attention, and no one can tell. Well, everyone can see it, everyone is paying attention, everyone can tell, and, most importantly, everyone can smell it. You either are the person who takes his shoes off during class or you aren’t.
Brown is a safe space where students are encouraged to feel comfortable in all situations. I appreciate that, and I appreciate the fact that our 9a.m. seminar makes you feel at home. However, I still struggle to comprehend why you need to take your shoes off, and how you ever so casually do it and feel okay with it. You don’t see me taking my bra off in the middle of class because it would be more comfortable for the ensuing hour and twenty minutes of sedentary discussion about 16th century Russian political philosophy.
Is there a difference in severity between those who unleash a bare foot and those who wear socks? I’m not quite sure. Sometimes, the bare foot means the shoes smell horrific. The socks usually smell like shit by themselves. So I suppose it’s a lose-lose.
A quick question I’ve been longing to ask: If you do take your shoes off, why do you rub your feet against each other? I’ve never really had a compulsion to do that before.
While being one of the people who take off their shoes during class is a binary, the severity of each specific shoes-off situation does, actually, fall on a spectrum.
Continue Reading