Right now, the only class that most of us plan on shopping anytime soon is SUMR2013: Introduction to Tanning. But preregistration for the fall semester is in just a few days, and the only course in my cart is WTF0010: Am I doing with my life? Fortunately, Brown professors are also into coming up with clever course titles, making the process of searching through Banner’s offerings much more entertaining.

I looked through all—yes, all—2000+ courses listed for next fall, and while I can’t tell you how to fit all those pre-med requirements into your schedule, I can definitely tell you the courses that are the MOST…

…twinning
ENGN1930N: Introduction to Magnetic Resonance Imaging
CLPS1490: Functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging: Theory and Practice

…identical twinning
POLS0820D: Freedom
POLS2350: Freedom

…punny
ARCH0270-S01: Troy Rocks! Archaeology of an Epic

…difficult to convince parents to spend tuition on
ENGL1762A: Perverse Cinema
TAPS1281Q: Introduction to Dance Studies: Sex, Death and Endurance

…oddly specific
AFRI1630: Modernist Africana Poetry of the Americas
SANS2120: The Development of Yoga and Sāṃkhya in Early Indian Thought

…deceptively easy-sounding but really 2000-level
MATH2510: Algebra [Read more →]

We would say go watch this video, but you really shouldn’t unless you need some inspiration to break an exit sign while sober. It’s a nine-minute monster, and Glenn Beck doesn’t truly go off the deep-end until the final stretch. To give a short summary, Beck got a hold of a report detailing the “radical” nature of course options at Bowdoin—how do you pronounce that? (check 0:20 in the video). He recited the story in monotone and then went on to condemn Africana Studies, Gender and Sexuality Studies, and basically all history that wasn’t about Anglo-Saxons as completely useless. Because, of course, classes like “The History of the Global AIDS Epidemic” and “Martin, Malcolm, and America” are simply unworthy of the ears of the lefty elite.

When we stumbled upon this clip, we couldn’t help but think Beck would have just as big a field day with Brown’s courses. Pre-registration for the fall is just around the corner, so make sure to check out these 10 courses after the jump if you want to maximize the man’s fury:

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Shopping period: the best of times, the worst of times. We understand that finalizing your schedule is not an easy task. If you’re agonizing over the decision to drop a class, look no further. Consider us your own personal MeikleBlog. You’re welcome.

Between our furious Banner browsing and taxing marathon schedules, it’s easy to forget that there’s another side to shopping period. Professors, like us, are faced with a frustrating beginning to their semesters as students flood their aisles and inboxes. We have our ways of coping with the chaos, and so do they. Any experienced shopper will have noticed that Brown’s professors gravitate towards a few different strategies to deal with the pressures of shopping period. We’ve compiled three common ones here. You’d be hard-pressed to find a student who hasn’t run into one of these characters during their Brown career.

The Intimidator:

“Are you registered? Get out of my class.”

Many college professors seem to have lost their fuzzy exteriors around year six of graduate school, but this shopping period classic kicks up the cynicism a few decibel levels during shopping period. If you’re not registered, sitting in the aisle, or missing a textbook by day two, the prof doesn’t want you there. And he’s not afraid to let you know. He revels in cutting his waitlist until only the fittest have survived. If you want to take his class, keep in mind that it’s just an act. Chances are he’ll lighten up a bit once people stop emailing him for overrides. 

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Because I’m a Banner demigod, I have absolutely no classes on Friday (yeah, that’s right, be jealous). But rather than sleep in or nurse a hangover, I decided to take the ultimate shopping trip: find a random person, go with them to class, repeat.

Here are the field notes, observations, and petty rants of shopping period.

9-9:50: ECON0110, Principles of Economics

8:59: Oh, freshmen. They’re still eagerly introducing themselves. Hi Carol and Jack! I remember doing that a year ago way back when. Now I bolt for the nearest spot open next to someone I vaguely know.

9:02: First thing the professor asks: “Who wasn’t here Wednesday?” She’s onto me.

9:04: Content of computer screens in the third row: MS Word, MS Word, MS Word, Spotify, Facebook, MS Word, Stickies, Gmail.

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An important part of your freshman year is learning that some things you thought about college were wrong. Your roommate may not become your best buddy, and those parties may not be as fun as they looked on TV (or maybe they were — you can’t remember). And if you think you know what classes you’ll be taking, shopping period begs to differ.

Shopping period is basically Brown’s way of ensuring that you really love all your classes (unless you need to take orgo, in which case… have fun!).  For the next two weeks, you can add and drop courses at your leisure and sit in on as many classes as you’d like.  There are so many classes to choose from that shopping period can seem pretty daunting, but here are some tips to help you make the most of it.

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Whether or not you’ve finalized your class schedule, your routine has certainly changed from last semester. Accordingly, tons of new faces are present in classrooms, Brown dining establishments, and study spaces. First time around, your walk from Barus & Holley to your class on the Main Green was invigorating. Overjoyed to be back on campus, you greeted everyone along the way: the person you pregamed with that one time, the kid who would always brush his teeth in the Keeney bathroom at the same time as you, and even that one kid who always slept in your section. Who cares if you hadn’t spoken to these people in months? You’re happy to be back at school and you don’t care who knows.

As you trudge through shopping period, you have less and less energy to devote to these marginal acquaintances. Tired of hearing that your friend’s friend is still fighting to get into The American Presidency (POLS1130), you stay away from the “hello”s and “how are you?”s and consider moving into smile/head nod territory. Yet this sudden change is a testament to your inherent laziness; you fear the awkward situation that will arise due to your obvious lack of effort. What do you do instead? You avoid the interaction at all costs by pretending you don’t even see them. Classic. Read our tips for ducking the duds after the jump.

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Everyone knows Shopping Period can be a little stressful from time to time. Yes, these ten days of carefree, caution-to-the-wind class hopping are a hallmark of the (not so) New Curriculum. But who are we kidding? More often than not, shopping classes becomes a clusterfuck of epic proportions. We’re here to help – and so too is Jonah Kagan ’13.

With the help of girlfriend Liz Neu ’14, Jonah created bestofBrown.net, a new website that collects information from current students about their favorite classes at Brown. [Read more →]

Admit it — classroom matters.

You really want to take a class in the new Metcalf Auditorium, especially if you had a class in the old one, but you have no interest in CLPS. Or perhaps you have been trying to find an excuse to spend time in the Granoff Center. Or maybe you just really like Smitty B 106.

Whatever the case, you may have been frustrated that Banner will not let you search for classes by room. But it’s cool, we’ve got a solution for you!

All you have to do is check out this wonderful page on the Registrar’s website. It lists the classrooms for every course this semester. Then use the “find” feature on your web browser to find the classroom you’re looking for, and that will give you all the results. For example, searching for “Metcalf Chemical Laboratory AUD” — their name for Metcalf Auditorium — will show you that if CLPS just isn’t your thing, you can always take Bio 50 (Cell and Molecular Biology), Applied Math 65 (Essential Statistics), Soc 17 (The Family), or Soc 162 (Globalization and Social Conflict).

It’s a mystery why Banner doesn’t do this, but then again, Banner doesn’t do lots of things…

If you’re not out taking advantage of the last few hours of Halloween, you’re probably stalking your crush’s schedule looking at spring courses on that new CourseKick site.  Yep, it’s pretty cool, but you might have forgotten that within the next few days you actually have to register for four or five of those enticing-looking courses.  For seniors, preregistration starts bright and early tomorrow at 8am.  Juniors will register Wednesday morning, followed by sophomores on Thursday and freshmen on Friday (all also at 8am).  If you’re a .5′er, just round down — who really talks about anything by semester level, anyway?

Registration will be open until Tuesday, November 8th at 5pm, but don’t let the week-long window fool you.  Get into those important and capped classes now and save yourself the stress later — there will be plenty of time to find even more strange and interesting courses to shop when you’re procrastinating studying for your second round of midterms.