V-Day SWUGs

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A key quality that allows a college female to be identified as a SWUG is being single. February 14th is a day dedicated to those who are #blessed with being in a relationship with another human, and it’s just around the corner.

As a Brown University SWUG, Valentine’s Day is usually an excuse to stuff my face with overpriced chocolate from the Thayer Street CVS, and to wait for my non-single friends to return with leftovers from their free romantic dinners on Federal Hill. However, this Valentine’s Day falls on a Saturday, which offers a number of opportunities for all the Brown SWUGs like me. And forces you to wear something other than your pajamas all day.

Why is a SWUG on V-Day different from all the other single ladies? We SWUGs are incredibly seasoned in the art of single’s activities: white wine, Netflix, and finishing a Ben & Jerry’s pint in record time. Therefore, we need to broaden our horizons, expand our palettes, and put our dear friend Netflix away for just one evening. It’s a Saturday night, girls. Get off the couch, put on your slutty favorite top, and give Cupid the finger on your way into the bar.

Calling all SWUGs of Brown: Put down the pint of Half Baked, take that tequila shot, and most importantly: treat yo self.

If you’re a SWUG and in dire need of plans for this Saturday, here are a few suggestions:

  1. Get a slice of chicken-bacon-ranch from Antonio’s for dinner
  2. Get a group of SWUG friends and head to Providence Place to see Fifty Shades of Grey
  3. Indulge in a glass (or four) of a pricier wine than you’d usually drink
  4. Finish that bottle of wine, Über to Euphoria and start (or continue) to senior scramble

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Academics at Brown, as explained by Beyoncé’s new music video

Last night, Beyoncé once again shocked the nation by dropping the music video to a brand-new single, “7/11.” The song is a total jam and the video is an instant classic, featuring Beyoncé dancing around a hotel with her crew and being generally flawless. In the spirit of this exciting and incredible new release, here is the average Brown student’s academic life as explained by the “7/11” music video:

 

When you literally cannot study anymore.

 1. Rolling up to classes before you’ve had your coffee.

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2. Rolling up to classes after you’ve had your coffee.

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3. Participating in class when you did the reading.

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4. Participating in class when you didn’t do the reading.

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