My mother always told me if you’re going to insult someone, you have to begin and finish with a compliment. With that in mind: Jeans, thank you for being one of the most dependable articles of clothing in my closet and in my heart. Except for that one time you were bedazzled and that extended period of time you were “flared cut,” you’ve always had my best interest in mind… But it’s time we talked about the soggy elephant in the room. It’s no secret that sandals in the snow earns #1 worst clothing/weather combo, but when it comes to rain, Jeans, it’s time for you to get it together.
holy wet denim
I’m from New England; we’ve been through this before, but it’s different now that I have to walk across campus. Don’t tell me it’s my fault for not wearing rain pants, this isn’t BOLT and you know that. If you’re going to be the least water-resistant fabric known to mankind, at least learn to expedite the drying process. Sitting through a two and a half hour seminar is trying enough, but compounded with wet denim? Cruel. And while we’re talking about drying, maybe you could refrain from feeling the need to shrink yourself two sizes while I’m wearing you. I can’t keep squirming around in class as you form the world’s most uncomfortable second skin.
These days, a pair of skinny jeans is one of the most basic staples in any wardrobe. They provide a foundation upon which you can experiment with your style—whether you dress them up or dress them down, you’ve got yourself a hell of an outfit. Just look around you—everyone (notably hamsters) is integrating this stylish essential into their wardrobe. Jeepers, even Mitt Romney is doing it! Put a pair of dungarees on that fella and suddenly he’s got mad swag.
Yet Romney’s Mormon bros at Brigham Young University-Idaho clearly haven’t seen how dapper he looks in a pair of skinny jeans. According to a report by independent BYU newspaper The Student Review, a girl at BYU-Idaho was turned away from the school’s testing center because her pants were too tight. Adhering to the provisions of the university’s rigid honor code, the testing center posted a flier on their door that deemed that “formfitting” skinny jeans were “not appropriate attire.”
No skinny jeans, you say? Unfathomable. We can commiserate with these students who now have to wear mom-jeans to class, but the reality is that we’ll stop caring in about ten seconds and go back to doing cartwheels in our jeggings. Sucks to be you (or shall we say, sucks to B
YU?) But just for kicks and giggles, shall we imagine what Brown would be like if we had an honor code like that of BYU-Idaho? The Brown Experience as we know it would undoubtedly be entirely different—find out just how different after the jump: Continue Reading