Clubs we NEED at Brown

Yeah, everyone gets it, we are hipster chic, trendy, and douchey, so our clubs should embody whats makes Brown Brown. There is the Anime Society, the Aerial Arts Society, the Swan Ballet Club, the Bulgarian Club, the Brown Noser, BlogDailyHerald (Pulitzer Prize-winning I may add…pending further review), the Brown Daily Herald, and so many others. Luckily, just like my fat cousin always says, “there is always room for more.”

Because my GPA already sucks, I have spent the last 36 minutes of my FYS drafting the ultimate list of clubs that I don’t want but that I NEED on campus A$AP. And. Here. We. GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

The Model UN Hecklers

This is just like Model UN, but instead of participating in a UN-inspired, student run forum, in this club we heckle and and prank those involved in Model UN. This is not an attack on Model UN; they’re great. Rather, this is me airing out some personal issues from high school due to a particularly competitive and arrogant Model UN squad that loved to talk about Model UN, the dances and how many guys/girls with braces they made out with. In high school there was nothing I wanted to do more than to let off a stink bomb, kidnap a Ecuadorian delegate, turn on the lights at one of the dances, or just streak through one of their “worldly and important” meetings. So why not do it now?!?! This club would heckle and mess with the Brown Model UN group as well any high school Model UN’ers who come to campus.

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The Digital Campfire: Sleep right with f.lux

The Digital Campfire is a collection of stories about technology. The protagonists are (fictional) Brown students. The problems they face, however, are very real— a stolen phone, a hacked account, an accidentally deleted folder. How do our intrepid heroes deal with these digital hiccups? Read the column to find out. 

Rahul stopped and stared. “Bill, you look like a zombie. And a filthy one at that! Even a horror movie director wouldn’t want to hire you.”

“I didn’t sleep at all last night,” Bill said, rubbing his eyes.

“Oh that explains it — an all-nighter. Did you have a philosophy paper to write?”

“No; it wasn’t work. I finished everything by 11. I just couldn’t go to sleep. I stayed awake the whole night and finally gave up and got out of bed to shower at 5 a.m.” Rahul shuddered; the thought of waking up at 5 made him feel weak.

“Hmm… that’s strange. Wait. Were you using your laptop or phone before you went to bed?”

“Well, actually I was browsing through Facebook and watching the highlights from last night’s basketball game..” But Rahul didn’t let him finish his sentence:

“I know your problem and just how to solve it.”

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Spotted: Sleeping Beauty

What to do when you want to simultaneously enjoy the sunshine AND stay in bed? Make like this resourceful Pembroker, spotted outside Smitty B, and take a sleeping bag outside.