Picture the scene.
Setting: a NYC subway car. The antagonists: an angry man and an angry woman. They kick each other. Words are screamed. Passengers swoon in fear. Only one man has the courage to step up and — oh, wait, never mind, he’s just eating chips.
Hey… that’s right. He’s just eating chips.
In a brilliant display of potato-based diplomacy, a young man pops out of nowhere and simply stands between the two rivals, absorbed in his munching, reducing high tempers to smoldering ruin. This man is a bringer of peace and a chewer of chips. Send him to Washington post-haste!
They call him “Snackman.” He’s the hero we deserve.
Also, he’s from North Kingstown. No big deal. #RIswaggin