So, Cookie Monster some Slate writer ate every single variety of Pepperidge Farm cookie.  While I was mildly disgusted, the piece inspired me to repeat this experiment at Brown — with Blue Room muffins, a collection as diverse as and somewhat carbier than the student population.

My sister, the ragamuffin Tanya Nguyen ‘13 (whose favorite joke is, incidentally, the one with the talking muffins), had independently developed a desire to test each one, so I enlisted her consumptive (I actually don’t think that’s the right word, but you know what I mean) and photographic ­aid in this totally self-indulgent project of great journalistic importance. Any excuse to nosh on a bunch of baked goods, amirite? Pro tips: Muffins are best warm, so nab them freshly baked or microwave them. Most are pretty sweet, especially as you keep stuffin’ your face with them, so have some water or other beverage (recommended pairings listed below). A gajillion couple thousand calories and 16 x 1.95 points later, here are our highly scientific results (in chronological order of sampling, which, don’t worry, was not in one sitting).

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Just when you thought he had outdone himself, Brown auxiliary dining guru Aaron Fitzsenry is back with more innovative specials to satisfy our cravings over next few weeks:

Tomorrow night, October 16^th, it’s Oktoberfest at the Gate. That means braised pork shanks over apples, beer-braised bratwurst, soft pretzels, and apple strudel…all that can be purchased with meal credits.  (Ed.- Take that study abroad peeps!)

Sunday, the 21^st, you’ll be able to head to the Blue Room with your parents to dazzle them grab an Apple Pie Float!

Finally, on Tuesday the 23^rd, Aaron himself will be in the Ivy Room in the afternoon promoting the new tossed salad bar. Promised delicacies include: warm pears and figs over spinach with a raspberry vinaigrette, or sautéed mushrooms and crumbled bacon with a warm balsamic dressing.

Is your mouth watering yet? Good.

When the Blue Room unveiled its fresh veggies wrapped in cellophane and its spinach and mixed greens with accompanying dressing on the side (!), we thought it couldn’t possibly outdo itself. Or out-Mom itself. But just when you thought the Blue Room couldn’t possibly get any better, it’s upped its game yet again: Brown’s finest dining establishment has decided to bring back both Veggie and Shrimp Nime Chow and sushi from Shanghai.

While the aesthetic and varieties of the sushi haven’t changed from last year, it looks as if Shanghai’s completely revamped the Nime Chow: there are now three individual rolls instead of two… and while the two Nime Chow rolls were $7.95 last fall, you now can buy three rolls for $8.00 even. So yeah, you basically get a third roll for free. If you didn’t know by now that we love free food, you should really read Blog.

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As yet another school year slowly winds to a close, you most likely have your daily Blue Room routine down to a science. Look for an empty booth, preferably one with an outlet. Put your bag down. Take a lap to find friends. Check to see if your favorite Shanghai sushi roll is still left. Eye the bakery/coffee line and gauge how much time you’ll have to spend waiting on it. Make a decision about what you’ll eat, pay, and hope that you have enough points left so you don’t hold up the line of impatient and hungry people behind you.

Of course, some inevitable external condition is bound take you out of your usual Blue Room rhythm. The 4 p.m. meal credit rush is definitely a game-changer and a royal pain in the ass. There’s only Sabra Red Pepper Hummus left. There are no more ciabatta rolls. The only fresh veggies on the  bottom refrigerated shelf are those monstrous (and weirdly phallic) whole English cucumbers. And where did all the Nime Chow go?! Equilibrium has been disturbed.

If you’re seeking consistency above all else in your Blue Room dining experience, look no further than the Blue Room Salad. No, I’m not talking about those tiny boxes of spinach or field greens that come with a measly side of balsamic vinaigrette. I’m talking customization and options at your fingertips. Tastes and flavors like you’d never believe. Dreamy greens. The only thing that stands in your way is the pesky glass partition of the sandwich line. No more ciabatta rolls? No problem.

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If you did last night, then this post is useless. If not, you are in for a serious treat. The venerable, ORIGINAL Thayer Street food truck is coming to the Blue Room. That’s right, the Blue Room will be serving Mama Kim’s starting tomorrow, THURSDAY, at 4:00 p.m., according to Morning Mail. The move to the Blue Room is, according to Hyun Kim ’01, all part of a plan to “bring Korean cuisine one step closer to the Brown community.”

The Hazeltine abides.

Now, the intensity with which one believes in the absolute truth of Morning Mail may vary from student to student, but I suggest you all heed this warning: If you really love Korean barbecue and can’t wait for the truck to get here, RUN — don’t walk, this is supposedly a “trial run” with a “limited amount of food available” — to the Blue Room Thursday afternoon. Adding Mama Kim’s to the 4:00 p.m. Blue Room rush is sure to cause a near riot in Faunce, so if you don’t like crowds or really good-smelling food, you might want to find another place to hang out tomorrow afternoon.

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It seems BuDS is as passionate about St. Patrick’s Day as the rest of us drunks Irishmen college students. First there were Irish-themed cupcakes in the Ratty and now the Blue Room  has put together a special float station for this oh-so-holy of holidays. Not exactly sure what makes an ice cream float even remotely Irish, but add a shot of Jameson and you’re well on your way to a good time.

Today, the Blue Room will be having a special involving ice cream. To keep things mysterious, the food spot has been leaking details via twitter.

They’re also copping our tagline, Making Mondays Better™ (c/o Tim Natividad). ANYWAY, there’s only one way to find out what it is…

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Sushi Mountain

It’s Spicy Manhattan time, ladies & gents. Sushi’s back at the Blue Room. It’s gonna be a good weekend…

We see you, Blue Room. Thanks for being our in loco parentis, effectively powering our first day of classes with fresh and yummy produce,which includes grape tomatoes, basil, cucumbers, yellow papers, and spring mix lettuce, and helping us stick to one of our several New Year’s Resolutions. The only thing we’re missing is an empowering yet adorable note on a napkin from Mom, but we’ll take what we can get. Here’s to a happy (and healthy) shopping period, spring semester, and 2012!

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