I never thought I’d end up as one of them. The Bag People. They stuff apples into their bags, hoard take-out boxes and run past Gail with distinctly shifty demeanors. I mean, sometimes I dress like a bag lady, but I don’t actually want to be one.

That all changed one fine day in the Ratty. I saw one of my best friends frantically spooning tomato sauce into a water bottle in the Tastes of the World section (which, in Ratty-speak, signifies a loose interpretation of Italian food).  Oh god, she’s finally lost it, I thought. We all saw this one coming.

But no. She was using it for pizza sauce. Free pizza sauce. FREE!  My dignity surrendered to my inner cheapskate, and with my friend’s Obi-Wan-like guidance, I have become a well-seasoned Ratty kleptomaniac. And if you want to be further enlightened, I offer you helpful vegan nuggets of Ratty wisdom after the jump, inspired by very my own Ratty kleptomania.

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