New traditions Brown definitely needs

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Brown, like many other schools, cherishes its long-established traditions and encourages everyone to participate and be merry together. Just look at Spring Weekend: hundreds will participate in the numerous events and later join in solidarity as they collectively get slammed with raging hangovers. Traditions give a school character and bolster school spirit, as bizarre and morally questionable as they may be. Don’t get me wrong—I am extremely fond of the already existing traditions at Brown. I enjoy my nude pastry providers as much as the next guy, but it may be time for a little something new. Or you know, we could simply alter the ones that are already in place just a teeny bit. Don’t want to upset the reactionaries.

Naked Cronut Run

Honestly, I believe the NDR embodies the essence of the Brown community and to abolish it would be to deny a key aspect of our Brunonian experience. But, times they are a-changin’ my friend, and the delivered goods need a facelift.

Don't you want me, baby?

Don’t you want me, baby?

Allow me to propose a Naked Cronut Run. These little bundles of fried joy are the paradigm of culinary perfection. Donuts are tasty and all, but hell, does the American dream tell us to conform? No. It urges us to strive for the best in life, and cronuts are just that. They are more expensive than their plebeian counterparts, but fundraisers throughout the year are always an option. Or, we can offer both donuts and cronuts during the NCR (?), but students would have to pay extra at the time of the offer if they desire the latter. The transaction would have to be conducted carefully to prevent a strip club feel. Continue Reading