Assuming you were able to snag tickets amid the free-for-all online scrum on Monday, it’s still likely that you won’t end up directly in front of center stage. If you want to high five Isaac Brock or kiss/fight Waka Flocka Flame, you’re going to have to get creative. Here are our suggestions for how to get up to the front of a Spring Weekend concert without overtly looking like an asshole:
“Uhhh… I don’t feel so good.”
Proclaim how dizzy and sick you are feeling as you move forward through the crowd. Throw in a “I think I’m gonna…” here and there. If people don’t respond, bend over and cover your mouth with your hands.
Effectiveness:✯✯✯✯✩ Getting puked on is one of many things that can immediately ruin someone’s spring weekend experience. Anyone paying attention will step aside once aware of the ticking vomit-bomb.
Act distressed.
Yell “Fuck” while repeatedly covering and uncovering your face with your hands. Pretend that you lost your phone and/or significant other at the front of the crowd.
Effectiveness:✯✯✩✩✩ People on Spring Weekend are generally in a pretty good mood. The sight of someone distressed will conflict with built up positive energy; this might leave them annoyed for a second but they’ll be happy once you’re out of sight.
Crowd surf.
Get some friends to hoist you atop the crowd and succumb to the will of those underneath you.
Effectiveness: ✯✯✯✯✩ This strategy may not get you to the front but you can make progress if you are persistent. Crowd surfing will also leave a gap between the people behind you, which your friends can use to make their way forward.
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