How creepy is your use of Find My Friends?

Why are you hovering here, you creeper?

It would have been so much easier to find where in the world Carmen San Diego was with this app.

If you’ve never heard of the iPhone app Find My Friends, you clearly haven’t maximized your stalking capabilities. The app lets you track where your friends (or at least their iPhones) are at any given time, if they agree to share their location with you. There a few times when this can come in really handy, but most of the time, it’s just plain creepy. Use the following rankings to see how creepy your use of Find My Friends is, on a scale from Actually Useful to Your Friend Should Get a Restraining Order.

Seeing if your friend is in the Ratty so you’ll have someone to sit with — A little creepy. We all know how awkward it is to wander around the Ratty balancing your loaded tray, hoping you’ll see someone you know so you won’t have to sit alone at one of those awkwardly big tables. Using Find My Friends is a practical way to see if you’ll have friends to sit with, or if you should go eat Chobanis by yourself in your dorm room. But you could also just text your friends to see if they want to grab lunch…

Discovering that two of your friends are secretly hooking up — Stalkward. If you happen to open Find My Friends and see two of your friends right next to each other in one of their dorm rooms all night, it’s pretty clear that something’s going down. This is when stalking gets awkward. Secret lovers, remember to hide your location on “Find My Friends” when sneaking off to one another’s rooms. Actually, this is probably a good thing to do in general if you have stalking-inclined friends (and who doesn’t?).

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Sane Stalking: A universal?

Last week, a friend in an introductory psychology class recently told me a weird statistic: forty percent of people admit to going through the medicine cabinet when in another person’s bathroom. Forty percent of people admit to this. I’m going to ahead and guess that about ten percent of people lie on surveys, and therefore half the population is kind of weird and stalker-y.

Now that I think about it, I know I’ve definitely done that before.

Also last week, my professor for Intro to Creative Nonfiction assigned my class a stalking assignment; yes, he mandated that we go out into the world and invade people’s privacy and then write about it. He reminded us we could be as creepy or casual as we wanted; we could take an approach as simple and unobtrusive as a Facebook analysis, or we could legitimately follow someone around for a bit. The point was to take all this and write about it, come up with something about this person, create a profile out of it.

What was surprising about this assignment? How easy it was. Not just for me, but for my class in general. Have we just become a generation of stalkers? How many times have you:

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