5 Princeton Review rankings that Brown should have made

For a high school student, The Princeton Review is the Bible for all things collegiate; for a college student, perhaps less so. How does Brown compete with compare to other colleges this year? Happiest students? Brown gets bronze. Best newspaper? Honorable mention. Quality of Life? Número 11. However, upon closer inspection, it seems that there are several rankings from which Brown has mysteriously disappeared. Here are a few of them:

  1. Most Liberal Students. You don’t see any elephants walking around campus, just quite a few asses.
  2. Most LGBT-Friendly. Excuse me, Princeton Review, but I believe you are missing a ‘Q’ in there (and maybe some other letters). Do you even remember last year’s Waterman riots?
  3. Least Religious Students. “I’m spiritual but not religious.”
  4. Reefer Madness. 4/20 on the Main Green reeference.
  5. Birkenstock-Wearing, Tree-Hugging, Clove-Smoking Vegetarians. Wait, you’re telling me that Brown is not on this list? Don’t worry man, it’s chill.

Who made you God, Princeton Review? Do you even believe in him (or capital H-i-m)? “Him,” oh how heteronormative.

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Time-waster of the day: September 29, 2011

Before sketch comedy group Out of Bounds forever etched the line “concrete building that’s made of concrete” into the Brown collective consciousness, there was “What a Brown Man.”

The music video has its problems — production values were lower, hipster jokes have been played out by now and there’s some kind of extended intro thing that this link will skip you over — but it is also terribly catchy. (No lies, this song was definitely my friend’s ringtone for the majority of freshman year. )

The video is also so recent/old  that you may semi-recognize a few of the pictured “mighty Brown men.” Or maybe you’re related to one of them. Awkward. Favorite line: “He loves Ruth Simmons in a reverent way / cause he’s probably gay.”

Didn’t “Friday” come out more than four minutes ago?

A recent article published by the satirical newspaper The Onion cited a study done by our very own MCM department:

According to a study released this week by Brown University’s Department of Modern Culture and Media, it now takes only four minutes for a new cultural touchstone to transform from an amusing novelty into an intensely annoying thing people never want to see or hear again.

Clearly this is fake as the study mentions nothing about semiotics, Walter Benjamin or the gender politics behind Dude Where’s My Car.

Additionally, say what you will about “Friday,” but Rebecca Black is making BANK.

Time-waster of the day: October 13, 2010

Female Character Flowchart via Overthinking It

Today we bring you Overthinking It’s Female Character Flowchart. Overthinking It, a blog whose self-professed mission is to “subject the popular culture to a level of scrutiny it probably doesn’t deserve,” posits such tropes as the Evil Matriarch, the Cat Lady, the Cutesy Badass and the Dead Slut.

We don’t endorse any of the stereotypes on the chart, but we do guarantee you it’ll take forever to follow all the lines around.