WHEN WE PUT UP A STUDY BREAK ABOUT A #WHATSHOULDWECALLME SPIN-OFF THAT JUST DESCRIBES WHAT HAPPENS IN A .GIF IN ALL CAPS AND THEN POSTS THE .GIF BELOW.

Like your grandma, the cultural clusterfuck that is Carly Rae Jepsen’s single “Call Me Maybe” has become worn out, overplayed and just downright old. We didn’t think it could be done, but this British dude managed to give the song a major facelift. A British accent makes everything better. Kudos.

Keep pushing through, y’all! Take Andy Grammer’s word for it — you are gonna turn out fine. (Also, Rainn Wilson makes an appearance… so this is definitely worth watching.)

Everyone loves free pizza.

If you’re in the library and are looking for a little more free food than was what was handed to you last night, head on down to Pizza Nite, taking place at 9 p.m. tonight at the SciLi and at the same time tomorrow at the Rock.

Pizza Nite, a semesterly tradition, is a night unlike all others: Friendly library workers bring out boxes and boxes of pizza by the stack, feeding the hungry masses. Depending on the crowds, it can one of the more epic free pizza events out there.

At least we’ve still got Christopher Walken.

I don’t know about you, but I love finals. It’s said that Spring Weekend is the only week when anything goes, but that isn’t true: reading/finals period is when shit gets real. It’s the only time of year when it’s socially acceptable to act on all your secret erratic and antisocial desires. Eat nothing but Oreos all day! Run naked in the libraries! Put on your special study sweats! Come on people! What other holiday lets you dress like a cracked-out mental patient?!

I’m taking a semester off, but I couldn’t bear to miss the festivities, so I spent the day recreating a day in the life of Brown finals. I even documented it so I could relive the happy memories again and again. Here it is, finals in a nutshell:

Your favorite camp song, “Baby Shark,” sung in German by a crazy lady. You’re welcome.

You need to study, but you still want to experience the vicarious pleasure of a killer Drinco Cinco de Mayo. You planned to bring out that sombrero in your closet, only to be derailed by a 12-page paper.

Good news: The blog Thought Catalog has released a choose-your-own-adventure for this fifth of May. Now you can relive those shoddy literary experiences provided by your elementary school library and embark on your very own fictional Cinco de Mayo adventure.

How will your story go? Will it end with a tequila hangover, a truel with treasure on the line, or a culturally insensitive dinner at Taco Bell? Find out for yourself.

Stressed out about writing your POLS1130 (The American Presidency) paper? Barely remember high school APUSH? Supporting the claim that there is a Tumblr for almost anything, Presidential Pickup Lines has got you covered…and will make you LOL.

Innuendos about Watergate, Roosevelt’s big stick, and trickle-down economics abound. Finally: Now you can feel (somewhat) educated while you giggle at penis jokes. Who could’ve known that the combination of old white men and sexy times would work so well?