Life Lessons From Banner

With Pre-registration season once again upon us, it’s that time of the year when Brown students must buckle down and undertake the arduous task of actually being forced to think about what academic pursuits they’re going to pursue three months from now…

Seniors are most likely coming to the horrible realization that the only thing separating them from their job at Goldman Bain the local McDonald’s is four more credits and what’s sure to be the most epic graduation of the last decade. Meanwhile, juniors are too busy raging studying abroad to even remember to register (put down the two Euro bottle of wine and your camera for one second, I promise you’ll still be able to document your Eurotrips on Facebook when pre-registration is over).

Further down the totem pole, sophomores are surely too depressed or disenchanted with school to even open their computer, while the freshmen are once again asking: what the hell is a pin, and where do I get one?

With that in mind, we couldn’t help but wonder if searching through Banner’s extensive course listings could provide us with some much-needed guidance, helping us to better navigate this chaotic and contemplative time. Though we found little in the way of useful life advice, what we did find were some telling, if not eerily accurate, musings hidden within the inner recesses of Banner’s server.

On Sex…

HIST1973Y: Children and Childhood in America; CLPS0610: Children’s Thinking; AMCV1904H: The Teen Age; ENGN0510: Electricity and Magnetism; COLT0610D: Rites of Passage; GNSS1960N Theories and Politics of Sexual Consent; APMA2630: Theory of Probability; HIST1750: The Intimate State; MUSC0660: Sacred Harp/Shape-Note Singing; ENGN0040: Dynamics and Vibrations, AMCV1903P: Please, Please Me; ENGN1710: Heat and Mass Transfer; APMA2420: Fluid Dynamics II; AMC1903G: Oral History and Community Memory; RUSS1450: Love, Adultery, and Sexuality; PHIL0990X: Conditionals, APMA1360: Topics in Chaotic Dynamics; APMA2110: Real Analysis;  EDUC1260: Emotion, Cognition, Education  Continue Reading