A Halloween Horror Story: The Group Costume

Halloween in a simpler time.

Nothing stresses me out more than Halloween costumes. Not midterms, not straight men, not the impending Frankenstorm. Nothing.

I have to be both sexy and creative at the same time? Listen, I know I go to Brown, but I’m not that smart or savvy. I JUST WANT TO DRESS UP LIKE A COW LIKE I DID IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL, OKAY!?! Or maybe a sexy Eskimo. It’s gonna be cold.

Now, even though most Brown students may pretend to adore Halloweekend, no matter how much you squeal about fishnets and hair pieces and clever women-in-binder costumes, I know you’re drowning in costume-induced anxiety. How do I know? Much like a school of fish or the majestic African impala, you find safety in numbers by rounding up your friends and going in a group costume. But I’m here to tell you: this is a mistake.

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