Brown sweatshirts and sweaters, ranked

Perhaps in your rush to buy — if you’re into that kind of thing — your textbooks during the past couple of weeks, you looked at, tried on, or even bought some swanky new Brown apparel. And maybe, given this semester’s generally horrendous winter weather, you wanted to beef up the sub-arctic section of your closet. A Brown sweater or sweatshirt would be a great addition to your wardrobe, right? Well, as long as you can free yourself from paralyzing indecision over the seemingly unlimited options you have. Seriously, there are too many kinds of sweaters for sale, particularly crewnecks. We’re here to give you our favorites so you can cut through the Brown-themed clutter. Note: I’m a man, and, though I tried to keep this list as unisex as possible, but I apologize in advance for my lack of knowledge about the women’s section of the Bookstore.

Hate. Polo.

10. Ralph Lauren quarter-zip. Death to this and its kind. This isn’t even one of our fake colors (see #8). I’m not at all a fan of the name-brand invasion of the book store (see: Under Armour). You’re paying upwards of $100 for a little white guy on a horse. If you grab some binoculars, however, you can see a Brown logo. I think.

photo (8)

9. Fake football jersey. Ok, I understand what the goal was here. You get to look like you just spanked URI in the Governor’s Cup, without the mud stains, concussions, or athleticism. The execution, however, is lacking to say the least. We were founded in 1764, not 17… 64.

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